Streatham & Marlborough v Clapham Nomads - 22/7/12

A fine win for Nomads against a decent side was overshadowed by a nasty injury to star opening batsman Mark Bradshaw, who sustained a crack in the jaw and will be out for the season.  Very best wishes, Mark.
Just brief details as I had to leave early and haven't got the scorebook back yet.
Skipper Todorow did brilliantly to raise a 12-man squad and even more brilliantly to win the toss and bat in 85 degree heat.
Mahesh V and Mark B started well against an awkward new ball attack before losing Mark retired hurt at about 40.  First wicket down was in the 70s, Mahesh had played really nicely, with a couple of moments of fortune, for 35, but was bowled behind his legs 3 balls before drinks.
Newcomer Bilal played a couple of firm, promising shots and made 19.  Prasanth batted very well and produced the shot of the day - a six into the trees but was a little unlucky to be out for 35 (bowled, but it might have been a high No Ball - a Television Replay job.) 
Star batsman without question was Hassan, after a hesitant start he just got better and better and was 103 Not Out at the close.  He accelerated so rapidly in the last 3rd of his innings that no-one realised he was even close to a ton.  Score at tea was 221 for 6 against a reasonable bowling attack with a couple of useful young spinners and a well-marshalled field.
Todorow produced a corker to strike in his 1st over and put the pressure on Streatham but the home side recovered steadily.  I had to leave after 15 overs when they were around 45 for 1 with opener Newton looking unshiftable and skipper Mark Bartolo starting to open up ominously.  Bartolo did go on to make 50 but that was the highpoint for Streatham who were dismissed for around 115.  Wickets were shared out with Andrew West claiming his first scalp of the season.  Bowling star was another debutant, Umar, who took 5 for 16 from 7 overs of rapid off-cutters with Bravest Keeper in Cricket John Crossland standing up.
Nomads won with something to spare.  Man of the Match was Hassan.  Fielder of the Day (according to Todorow) - "No-one in particular." 
Finally, a brilliant tea.  A possible challenger to Caribbean Mix for tea of the season.

Clapham Nomads 221 for 6 from 40 overs

M. Bradshaw,  retired hurt  10
M. Vyas,  35
Bilal,   19
H. Khan,   not out 103
P. Pattiyil,  35
Umar,  0
C. Kee,  1
C. Kennedy,  0
E. Todorow,  not out 2
Did not bat; J. Crossland, A. West

F.O.W. - 59, 80, 167, 173, 198, 217

Streatham & Marlborough 114 from 39 overs

H. Khan  8-2-25-1
E. Todorow  8-1-23-1
A. West  8-1-21-1
Bilal   8-0-23-2
Umar   7-0-16-5

Clapham Nomads won by 107 runs

Long Ditton v Clapham Nomads - 15/7/12

Groundhog Day.  Another last-minute fixture.  Another nice ground in Surrey.  Torrential rain on Saturday night and another blank Sunday.

Effingham v Clapham Nomads - 8/7/12

After the shock collapse of our local derby match against the Energy Exiles, we arranged another game at Effingham (apparently one of the nicest grounds in Surrey, where we last played in 1995.)  Unfortunately, torrential rain left the ground under 2 inches of water (The Exiles match would have been off due to rain as well.)  Starved of top class sport we turned to the Wimbledon Gentlemen's Singles Final for consolation.

Barnes Occasionals v Clapham Nomads - 1/7/12

It was a full-strength Nomads side that made the long journey to take on a slightly-depleted Barnes Occasional at their Sandy Lane ground in Ham.  This is growing on me as a venue.  The allotments and the historic buildings making for a bucolic scene with the snatches of pop music drifting across from Eel Pie Island bringing things up to date (give or take a decade or two.)
As usual, Nomads' skipper Emil Todorow won the toss and he controversially inserted the home side.  The captain explained that this gave him 2 options; forcing a ruthless victory or hanging on grimly for the draw in this time game.
The pitch nearer the river was used which was fortunate as the other pitch can be a lottery.  There was still some unpredictable, mostly high, bounce on our track and Todorow yet again showed his tactical mastery by turning to his 2 quickest bowlers.  Abdul, in particular, found some sharp lift at times and struck early to remove the dangerous Adam Hogg who lofted a riser straight to Hassan at Cover.  Hassan soon matched this with a wicket of his own and the friends exerted relentless pressure.  Wicket after wicket tumbled with barely a shot played in anger.  After 16 overs the Khans had reduced Occasionals to 18 for 7 and last week's all-time low opposition score record of 23 was in danger.
For part of this time we were even short of a fielder as 5 or 6 local youngsters were lurking next to our kit. A Nomads fielder was despatched to the scene, not so much to guard our kit but more to protect the kids from touching the rank items which could probably cause cellulitis to sensitive skin.  In the event, they were decent lads, more Just William than Artful Dodger.  Watching the game one of them remarked; "Hmm, they're not very good. are they?  Well, Clapham are OK, I suppose."
It took No. 8 Rohit Benjamin to restore some pride for Barnes.  Looking correct from the word go, he took a liking to the bowling of Emil Todorow and, particularly, Riaz Khan with a series of smart boundaries flicked square-ish to Leg.  With Keith Seed and last man Ollie Hogg providing able defensive support, the score passed 50 and was beginning to approach a total problematic on this pitch when Benjamin finally clipped it uppishly straight into the hands of Emil Todorow who coolly pouched an absolutely vital catch.  We never doubted you for a second, Emil, even if we did lift your cap a couple of times to check it really was you.
66 all out and an early tea was taken.  Emil and I were the last in and we approached the grand house next to the ground.  As we opened the glass doors, we saw a lavish spread with glasses of champagne and bowls of very exotic fruit.  "Ooh Barnes, you are really spoiling us," we thought; but then 3 chaps, one of them a former England footballer, appeared and politely informed us that the cricket tea was round the corner in the shed with the rusty black door.  Normal service resumed but at least we were treated to the second best Oppo tea of the season so far, and Emil was fascinated by some unusual hens he saw on the way there.
Nomads had 1 hour 40 minutes plus 20 overs to knock off the 67 but Mahesh Vyas fell in the first over; bowled trying to force the awkward swing bowler O. Hogg across the line.  Prasanth Pattiyil, back from his trip to Kerala, was No. 3 and he faced 2 early shouts for LBW.  The majority of the fielding side participated in these appeals, somewhat "assertively", from a very wide spectrum of vantage points including the Deep Fine Leg boundary.  There was just one problem though; neither of the balls would have hit the stumps.
On 13, Nomads suffered a body blow when Mark Bradshaw fell to an in-cutting beauty from Benjamin, Barnes' quickest and most dangerous bowler.  Hassan and Prasanth recovered the situation steadily but, at 34, Hassan was adjudged leg before.  The decision looked a trifle harsh and was hopefully not influenced by the earlier antics.
34 for 3 was potentially sticky on this pitch but Nomads had fair depth to their batting. Darwin joined Prasanth for 18 vital runs before the No. 5 was unluckily bowled by the only ball in the match to keep really low.  Keith Seed had Chris Kee caught the following over.  At 53 for 5, Barnes evidently considered themselves back in the hunt but, with only 13 needed to win and a good mix of blockers and hitters to come, a steady nerve was all that was needed (though Emil's catch was looking more and more important.)
Crucially, Prasanth plundered 9 from a Benjamin over before being bowled by the deceptive Seed for a match-winning 28.  5 to win and 7th-wicket pair Nick Lefebve and Abdul Khan saw Nomads home, admittedly in a rather streaky fashion, for a very enjoyable victory.
Man of the Match was Prasanth.  Abdul's 4 for 8 probably looks a better stat on paper than 28 runs, but Prasanth performed an absolutely vital job in holding our response together and this was possibly his best innings for the club.  Fielder of the Day (and Spellcheck may query this) was Emil Todorow for his crucial catch.  To be fair, his fielding is pretty good these days.

Barnes Occasionals  66 all out from 29 overs

H. Khan  8-2-8-3
A. Khan  8-3-8-4
R. Khan  7-1-25-3
Todorow  6-1-16-0

Clapham Nomads  67 for 6 from 21.3 overs

Bradshaw  8
Vyas  0
Pattiyil  28
H. Khan  13
Darwin  8
Kee  0
Lefebve  1 not out
A. Khan  4 not out

Did not bat; R. Khan, Todorow, Crossland

F.O.W. - 1, 13, 34, 52, 53, 62

Clapham Nomads won by 4 wickets

Opposition Tea of the Year

Currently, after 3 Opposition Teas, Caribbean Mix's excellent chicken, rice, salad and exotic cake feast is ahead by a very wide margin.  With several away games to go, there is still a possibility of another team snatching the prize (rumoured to be Supper for Two with Andrew West), but they will have to go some.

Touring Theatres v Clapham Nomads - 24/6/12

This match at Haydons Road, the second part of our double-header against the Theatres, was on a knife-edge throughout the morning after torrential overnight rain.  In the end the Supervisor announced that he didn't want to "spoil the fun" and he let play go ahead provided we used a pitch that had been played on the previous day.
Emil Todorow won the toss yet again and Nomads batted in squally conditions against Seethal and Naseef, possibly the best new ball pairing Theatres have used in their 25 or so games against the Nomads.
I was 30 minutes late due to work commitments and when I arrived Nomads were 40 for 1.  Mahesh Vyas had started brightly but John Crossland (who is becoming our Nostrodamus - or possibly Mystic Meg - with his uncanny predictions) foretold that Vyas would "give it away" and the opener was promptly bowled by the impressive Seethal who was straight and considerably above Medium off a 6-pace run-up.
Darwin joined Mark Bradshaw and, like last week, a fine 2nd wicket stand took shape.  Darwin is rather more front foot than Bradshaw but, in terms of where the ball ends up, they are strikingly similar.  They both hit the ball hard and true and find the gaps well, and have produced several valuable partnerships over the last 12 months.
With no restriction on overs per bowler in this Time Game, the opening pair got through 16 overs by which stage Nomads had done very well to reach 90-ish for 1 on a fair but damp pitch.  It took Off-Spinner Cal Robertson to really exploit the stickiness and his first 3 overs reminded me of Derek Underwood on a wet pitch as he practically got the ball to make him a cup of tea.  Darwin and Hassan were deceived and bowled in quick succession. (Hassan's delivery almost stopped on bouncing.)
After these initial successes, Robertson tended to overpitch and Bradshaw and Chris Kee took full advantage of this, with Kee playing one particularly memorable shot, pulled virtually one-handed from wide outside off and despatched almost for 6 to the mid-wicket boundary.
Bradshaw had held the top order together and reached a fine half-century.  He then joined in the acceleration with the arrival of No. 6 Zia.  It took a freak dismissal to finally remove him for 72 - the ball slipping from Dirk Fieldhouse's hand and skidding low, hitting Mark on the foot, 2nd bounce, in front of Middle and Off.  As the umpire, I regretted raising my finger for this one and would probably have "used my discretion" had the batsman been closer to a ton.
A flurry of hitting from Zia (several massive sixes), Abdul and Riaz took Nomads up to 211 for 7 at tea.  This was 86 lower than the previous week and Theatres' batting line-up was arguably slightly stronger, but in a Time Game Todorow would be able to deploy his elite Strike Force (including himself of course) unsparingly.
A finishing time of 7.20 was set so that we would have time to catch the England v Italy Quarter Final (we needn't have bothered.)  By the time the rather porky tea had been finished there was time for around 28 overs for Theatres to knock off the 212, or survive for the draw.
Hassan quickly bowled the potentially dangerous Seethal with a beauty.  This brought Mahinder Mahinder to the crease.  An interesting, entertaining and opinionated character; he has turned out for Energy Exiles and has been selected for Nomads several times without, for various reasons, actually taking the field.  On a true and drying track he showed the maker's name and looked very sound.  At the other end, Hassan polished off Ben Martin, Naseef and our very own Chris Kennedy.  At around 10 for 4 he looked like running through the entire side.  Mahinder hit the only 4 of the innings off the bowling of Emil Todorow.  Sensing it would take something special to remove the Sri Lankan, Todorow smoothed down his hair (which had been floating ominously), smiled wryly, flexed his wrist and produced his mythical Leg Break for the first time in a competitive match.  I'm not sure it actually turned but it bamboozled Mahinder to the extent that he could merely flick it tamely round his legs straight into the gloves of a delighted John Crossland.  A hugely entertaining wicket.  Next week - The Doosra.
The 74-year-old Novelist and Sports Writer Chic Fowles dug in well and played some firm shots past Cover.  Riaz was bowling by now and needed to produce his very best to winkle out the veteran, just clipping the off bail with a quicker one.
Zia was on at the Station End and did Robertson for sheer pace.  Theatres had 7 or 8 overs still to survive.  Last man was Cochrane who looked athletic and, with his dark green top, also looked South African.  (To our relief he was very English and had never set foot on a cricket field before.)  Before this though, Dirk Fieldhouse and John Warnaby were together for the 8th wicket.  They both have ability, particularly in defence, and I gave them an Evens chance of seeing it through.  Zia had been overpitching a bit but this paid off with a low full toss on middle stump surprising Warnaby slightly for the crucial wicket.  Zia cleaned up Cochrane next ball and will be on a hat-trick when he next bowls for us.
So Theatres were all out for 23, which is the lowest total Nomads have ever conceded in a completed innings (admittedly Theatres had only 10 men.)  Surprisingly, the bowling was actually a little wayward but John Crossland was at his best behind the stumps to save a string of byes.  Nomads displayed impressive intensity and fielded well, showing the advantage of a close-up field as Theatres had to take chances to penetrate our ring (so to speak.)
This 23 is actually the lowest team total in any of the 400 or so competitive matches I have played in.  When you consider that includes 150 games for Open University (no strangers to the sensational collapse) that is remarkable.  Speaking of Open University, the Haydons Road car park was where OU and Nomads legend Dave Hunter finally drove out of our lives in an incident described in the tear-jerking poem "I Just Looked Around and He Was Gone" by the Nomads' Poet Laureate (See last week's Post, which has incidentally provoked a good reaction on Facebook; "Clare in the Community" - I like that.) Another popular Nomads figure, Shailesh Bhatia, also played his last game at Haydons Road so it is a ground steeped in Nomadic history.
Man of the Match was Mark Bradshaw whose untroubled 72 made defeat almost impossible.  Zia also had a very good day and Hassan's bowling figures were remarkable.  Fielder of the Day was John Crossland whose excellence secured this new Club Record.

Nomads  211 for 7 from 35 overs

Bradshaw  72
M. Vyas  9
Darwin  25
H. Khan  8
Kee  12
Zia  42
A. Khan  8
R. Khan  1 not out

Did not bat; Lefebve, Todorow, Crossland

F.O.W. - 36. 100, 116, 140, 180, 208, 211

Touring Theatres  23 all out from 21.5 overs

H. Khan  7-5-5-4
Todorow  7-4-8-1
R. Khan  4-3-2-1
Zia  3.5-1-4-3

Clapham Nomads won by 188 runs

Nomads' Poet Laureate

Most cricketers at our level spend the tea interval discussing football, cars, the physical attributes of passing women, the lack of physical attributes of their team-mates, occasionally even cricket.  Not the Nomads, though.  Last Sunday we had a very pleasant discussion about the Pastoral Poet, John Clare. It was felt that if there is a poet who represents the essence of Clapham Nomads, then it is Clare.  After all, the 19th Century versesmith shares several connections with the Clapham side;

East Northants/Stamford/Peterborough area connection - Yes
Epping Forest connection - Yes
Keen walker - Yes (Nomads have several of these, but in the hiking rather than the cricketing sense.)
Madness connection - Yes (but in Nomads' case this is arguably only moderate eccentricity when compared with some of the teams we play.)

Undoubtedly, some of Clare's lines will resonate with many Nomads players, e.g.;

"Into the nothingness of scorn and noise"

and (a slight adaptation here) - "The vast shipwreck of my life's teams."

In conclusion though, much as we are all admirers of the works of Clare, we do already have our own Poet Laureate at the club.  Not only does his surname, like the poet's, begin with a C, but he also tends to write on an explicitly cricketing theme.  Here is his best-known work which is on the subject of a team we used to play.  I have concealed the team's name to avoid causing offence and because some of them are a bit tasty.

"xxxx xxxx as a team,
They're not exactly the best I've seen.
The way they act, it makes me frown
'Cos they resemble a bunch of clowns.
They turned the game to utter shite,
This gang of pissheads dressed in white."