Thursday 31 December 2015

Andrew West's Top 5 Golden Moments

And so we come to the quintessential moments of West.....

5) - Andrew West's debut was on 26/6/94 v Tower Ravens at Wandsworth Park, SW15.  I had the honour of being captain for this auspicious occasion which also happened to be my first outing as skipper of the team and also probably the worst pitch we have ever played on.  But it was all about West.
I had faced him on uncut grass and artificial pitches on Clapham Common and knew he could be a tricky bowler but it must have been John Crossland who forced me to bat him at No. 5.  He entered at 27 for 3 and Nomads were being terrorised by a tearaway cockney fast bowler called Lee Price who had figures of  4-2-3-3 when West marched out, almost fully equipped, for the first time as a Clapham Nomad to face the music.  The music must have been thrash metal as the ball was rearing around our heads and various other areas of our anatomy.  You will not be surprised to hear that Andrew was soon hit in the testicles and doubled up in agony.  "Are you wearing a box?" I called out anxiously.  "Does it look like I'm wearing a f***ing box?" West replied, rubbing and counting frantically.
Anyway, West, using his unique grip, proceeded to smash the Ravens all over the Park, and probably into the Thames, with 6 boundaries in his 26,  He put on 51 for the 4th wicket with the suave, public school-educated, classical cellist and chess expert Chris Holland.  Two more different players and people you would struggle to find but it was West who turned the game and set Nomads up for a total of 154.  He then bowled two of the Away side's Top Six as we dismissed them for 130 - our first victory on a grass track (or whatever alien substance Wandsworth Park is made of.)
West was Man of the Match and we thought we had unearthed a unique batting talent.  We were partially right.  He certainly is unique but who could have predicted in June 1994 that, in his 87 further appearances for the club, he would never get even within 10 runs of the 26 he scored that day.

4) - But he has done plenty with the ball.  None more so than on 30/8/09 in a game at Alexandra Park, Epsom, against Phoenix Epsom Liberal a team who, with one notable exception, were very nice guys but always gave the impression that they thought they should be beating Nomads easily and, no doubt, hitting a bowler of Andrew West's build and pace all over the shop.
Nomads batted pretty well to rack up 216 for 5 from our 35 overs but, on a good track with short-ish boundaries against a fine batting side and with skipper Todorow only having 4 front-line bowlers to juggle, I wouldn't say we were favourites at tea.  The Home side made their way up to about 55 for 2 and my report from the match then takes up the story.....
After 14 overs there was a double bowling change and on came Andrew West and Gopi, two men who are very different in physical stature but very similar in their determination to take wickets. There was an aura about West as he jogged in, ball in hand, and he very quickly produced a floater to bowl No. 4 R.Gall, a man we were told had averaged 280 in his previous three innings. That's all very well, but it's unlikely he had faced a bowler of the calibre of Andrew West.
Gopi produced his usual excellent variation with several big off-spinners and got a quick reward with the wicket of No. 3 Piper Masha. It was West's day however and, even when Raj sent the ball into orbit for a giant 6, Andrew showed his new-found maturity by merely muttering some extremely obscene curses under his breath and turning round and sending down some more jaffas. Down they fell; bowled, bowled and a brilliant running catch by Gopi at short third man to remove the dangerous Raj.
 Shuffling his bowling options cleverly, The Gaffer turned to the spin of Ben Fewson who soon showed we did have a 5th front-line bowler all along with some well-flighted spin. West held the ball aloft after achieving his five-fer with yet another bowled and then Fewson rapped it up to secure a resounding victory by 116 runs. This was a great all-round Nomads performance from a slightly depleted team with everyone chipping in. Phoenix were perhaps more depleted than us, and I did hear a rumour they told John Crossland they were a bit complacent before the game. I'm sure they won't be next season.
There is little that can be said about Andrew West that has not already been said except that he is Man of the Match. Fielder of the Day is a share between Gopi, who took one of the best catches of the season and Mark Bradshaw, who stopped everything at fine leg when the pressure was on - despite a broken finger.

Back to 2015 and I can reveal that this was Andrew West's best bowling analysis for the club,  7-2-20-5, setting up a brilliant win.  Happy days indeed.  I can't remember if he bought a jug but he is forgiven if he didn't.

3) - From the sublime to the..... well, not exactly ridiculous but perhaps shocking, sad, and oooh, maybe just a tiny bit comical.  The Mobile Phone Incident v Surbiton Imperials in August 2015.  In order to protect the identities of those involved I will describe them as "X" (A Medium Pace bowler who bats No. 11 and takes XXL size.)  "Y" (A moustachioed wicketkeeper) and  "Z" (A captain who is respected but is famous for not suffering fools gladly.)  This is how I saw the incident, though if I am ever asked to repeat this under oath, I may have seen something different.  Nomads were fielding at the time,, and being hammered.

X- (pulling out his Mobile Phone) - "Hello, mate.  Alright?"
Y- "Put your phone away, X."
Z- "X, put your phone away NOW!".
(X carried on talking on his phone)
Z- "Right,"  (advancing towards X) "Get off the pitch now."
X- "F*** off you c**t."
(Z started trotting towards X)
Y - (standing between X and Z) "Come on you two, leave it."
(Further badinage followed, with Z trying to reach X, before X finally fled the pitch.
Z - "Stay off the pitch.  You will never play for this club again."
X - "Oh yeah, so I can't even talk to my family then.  My mother's in St Thomas' Hospital, you c**t."

The memory fades a bit after that.  X stayed by the opposition for a while, and applauded their play, before making his way slowly round the pitch, exchanging various comments with boundary fielders and moving onwards every time Z showed signs of going after him.
X waited outside the pavilion at tea, I think in an attempt to apologise to Y, but he was not fully successful for various reasons in making this apology.
I don't think I have described the incident all that well.  It was one of those situations were you really had to be there.  Surbiton Imperials certainly were there and, while I heard a rumour that they were highly amused by the incident, I also heard a rumour that they were think of dropping us from their fixture list as a result.  I hope they don't as X is unlikely to play in the fixture next season.  Z says X definitely won't.

2) Now we come to the Top 2.  Moments in a different league to most of the incidents from 25 to 3 which are not really that remarkable when considered in isolation.  A lot of players are injury-prone, many are temperamental or surprise their team mates with stunningly good or bad performances or highly quotable comments, but the Top 2 were a couple of the most extraordinary things I have seen, on a cricket pitch or anywhere.  They also show the bad and good sides of our hero.
No. 2 occurred in an All London League Game v Sporting Caribs on 2/7/2000.  The type of league it was is hinted at by the fact that the game was played on Wandsworth Common.  This game was actually Hassan's debut (and coincidentally he features in No. 1 as well.)
Nomads fielded and Hassan and Andrew opened the bowling.  Andrew didn't do that badly but was taken off after 2 overs by skipper Joe Chance with figures of 2-0-12-0.  I can't remember his immediate reaction but the decision looked sound as Hassan and 1st changer Emil Todorow reduced the strong, mainly Australian despite their name, visitors to 37 for 5. Caribs then staged a recovery to 142 all out - a decent total on this interesting (all right, crap) pitch with 8 bowlers used.  Andrew West was never brought back.  Nomads never really got close (Hassan top-scored with 29).  Andrew batted high up for him, at No. 8, even above Riaz, West made 4 - a boundary - but Clapham lost by 57 runs.  The weather was dull and there were a couple of rain interruptions. It was a day we realised we would not win the league (we had been top a month previously.) The opposition enjoyed sledging.  So nothing all that dramatic happened but it might have been a combination of all these factors that made Andrew suddenly pick up Eddie Phillips' bat and take a good dozen blows at the bottom of an ancient oak tree in, I think, a genuine attempt to fell it.  The tree still stands, which is more than can be said for Eddie's bat.  (I will, of course, deny having seen any of this if interviewed by Wandsworth Council or the Forestry Commission.)

1) - No. 1 is, in all sincerity, the most incredible thing I have seen on any sports pitch in almost 50 years of playing and watching sport.
It was a friendly at the end of the 2000 season against Touring Theatres.  I have just noticed that I was the captain - what an honour.  Theatres were short of a fielder and asked if they could borrow a Nomad.  I can't remember if I had the hump with them - they did once imply I looked like George Formby so it might have been that - but I gave them Andrew West.  If I intended to stitch them up it backfired spectacularly.  Nomads were 145 for 5 and coasting when Hassan came in at No. 7 (you can see why I don't captain any more) and Andrew was chuntering and had been banished to the Deep Mid Wicket boundary.  Hassan had raced to 8 and must have been looking forward to filling his boots against a benign attack.  He cracked a pull a shot uppishly but hard towards the Mid Wicket boundary, a few feet to the left of West who had appeared to lose all interest.  It looked all over a 6.  A high-class fielder would have made the ground and caught it.  An average fielder would have moved across and possibly dropped it.  Some Nomads might have contrived not to see it or genuinely not got into position.  Only a man of limited fielding ability but true genius could do what West did next.  He just stuck out his left hand and pouched the ball as if it was a piece of pork pie crust that had evaded his jaws at tea.  He did not move a muscle apart from his arm.  Absolutely amazing reflexes or total luck? I just don't know but I'm glad I saw it.
Nomads won the game by 47 runs.  Hassan was less than impressed and didn't play again for us for a while but returned to become our best player of all time.  Andrew only took 1 more catch in a Nomads match in the next 15 years (again, for the opposition) and I just filed the moment away in my memory bank - somewhere between the Total Eclipse of the Sun in 1999 and Botham's batting v Australia at Headingley in 1981, but more unexpected than both.                     

Tuesday 22 December 2015

Andrew West's Golden Moments - The Top 10

...And so we come to the absolutely vintage moments of Andrew.  West at his Best.  At 10 is arguably his finest bowling in a Nomads shirt.  This is so long ago that I can barely remember the bowling (presumably accurate) or for that matter the shirt (presumably not white.)

10) - A tight game at Duppas Hill v North Croydon on 17/8/97 featuring ruthless captaincy from John Crossland and (judging by the bowling changes) a rather high level of "verbal interaction" - (not unusual for the Nomads at the time, and I have completely forgotten the game.)
Nomads made just 112 on a decent pitch against organised-looking and well-turned-out opponents.  It didn't look promising at the break.  Skipper Crossland opened the bowling with Andrew and Emil but Emil made little impression and was replaced after only 5 overs by Dave Hunter (there may have been some on-field discussion following this, I am thinking.)
The two Medium Pacers combined brilliantly and, after 32 overs, Nomads were on the brink of victory.  Andrew had bowled throughout at the Council Estate End and his figures were 16-1-33-4.  At this point, and I can't remember why, the skipper suddenly decided to replace West with Joe Chance, who promptly took the last 2 wickets in 5 balls.  A great win by 31 runs for a team which had been on the point of folding.  I can't remember why Andrew was taken off after bowling such a fine spell.  If it was not due to injury, than the decision must have precipitated some earnest debate.  Anyway, classic West bowling.

9) - Clapham Nomads v The Hunter Family on 3/7/94 at Raynes Park.  Five players had attempted a few months previously to break away from the Open University (London) cc - run by Dave Hunter.  We did form a new club - the Nomads, but ended up still playing for OU as well.  A special match was arranged involving the rival factions in the OU.  To say there was needle would be like saying the First World War got a little bit feisty at times.  It was agreed it would be too incendiary if any of the rebel players captained the Nomads, so that burden fell on Jazz Pianist (the late) Peter Saberton.
8 Members of the Hunter family turned out; Dave (capt), Lenny, Mick, Tom, James, Dan, Emma plus 1 other (? Billy).  Emma was a talented tennis player and it was rumoured Mick H said to Emil before the start; "if you bowl your usual s**t to her, she'll smack you about."
After a poor start, Nomads recovered to 147 for 7; Joe Chance top-scoring with 38.  In the reply, the Hunters again started well with the talented Tom playing nicely.  Gradually the tide turned and, although Emil had the best bowling figures with 4 for 15, Andrew was instrumental in frustrating the (not always entirely placid) opposition with figures of 3 for 10.  He dismissed 3 Hunters; Tom, Mick and Dan.  The scorebook features a line which tells its own story; Mick Hunter bowled West 0.
Nomads won by 59 runs.  There was an amusing incident afterwards when one of the HUNTER FAMILY players accused the Nomads of selecting ringers; the man's surname - REDMOND.

8) - No. 8 is a bit high for this one but my notes have got mixed up.  Anyway, British Television has been "graced" over the years by the appearance of several Clapham Nomads players.  Adam Paz appeared on Pointless early this year.  Nick Lefebve was on the 1990s quiz show Fifteen-to-One.  John Crossland used to work as an extra in productions featuring large crowds of Victorian-looking people (it's the moustache), so he's probably been on the small screen, possibly in something Dickensian; other Nomads may have featured in shows such as Crimewatch or "Police, Camera, Action."  The best of all though, came about 10 years ago.  I was idling around, not even watching the Daytime TV show that was on in the background.  It was called something like "This Morning in Hospital."  The lovely Nadia Sawalha was interviewing people who were awaiting treatment in St Thomas' Hospital's A & E Department.  "So what happened to you, Andrew?" Nadia purred.  "Well, I fell off my ....bike didn't I, on the way to Brighton." replied a familiar gruff voice.  I turned round just in time for the camera to move away from an oh-so-familiar face.  Credit to Andrew, he hadn't sworn (mind you, they have a 10-second delay on live broadcasts, I think, just in case.)
Vintage Andrew.  An injury - my goodness, I was surprised.  At the end of the show, Ms Sawalha returned to our hero, something now inserted in his leg, and asked him if it would put him off future bike rides.  "No," the Nomad smiled.  What a trouper.

7) - A bit like No. 7, another family affair.  Andrew West turned out for the Nomads against the strong Crete Sports on 31/7/94 at Farm Road, Morden.  In those days, he was actually regarded as more of a batsman than a bowler.  The scorebook reads; Andrew West, run out 15.  That sets the scene nicely but there's more.  Andrew hit a 6, the only 6 of his Nomads career, off an excellent bowler called Butcher, who despite being in his mid-50s was from Barbados and was accurate and distinctly sharp at times (he was rumoured to have played at a high level and was possibly the best bowler Nomads came up against regularly in our early years.)
Poignantly, this was the only game in which all 3 West brothers played for the club.  Having seen what Andrew could do, selector Crossland was trying to mine a rich seam of talent.  Alan West and Harold West were nice guys, quieter than Andrew.  They never played much for the Nomads.  One of them has, I believe, sadly passed away.  I'll have to check that with John.

6) - v Surbiton Imperials at Raynes Park in September 2010.  A memorable game in many ways.  Sadly, Gopi's last match for us.  Sensational batting from Mark Bradshaw and Hassan Khan took Nomads well over 200.  Only Andrew could top this (and I am ashamed to say I helped him.)  Early in Surbiton's reply, Andrew stopped a firmly-struck shot with his shin.  He swore - obscenely but briefly, skipped in a perfect figure of 8 and crashed to the ground, and then got up immediately without a word and just carried on fielding as if nothing had happened.
Then followed a quiet spell in which Nomads assumed complete control of the game and appeared to have dismissed the dangermen.  When a balding, intense-looking man strolled out late on, Skipper Todorow thought it was safe to chuck the ball to West, who was not on brilliant form (see Golden Moment No. 21 from a few weeks before this game.)  What we hadn't realised was that the unhairy man was Jonny Rosenthal, a fantastically destructive player who, on this day, took an absolutely massive liking to Andrew's bowling.  Ball after ball sped to the boundary or sailed over the fielders' heads.  At last, Jonny slightly mistimed one and skied it.  I managed to get round to Deep Long On, got under it, but then not only dropped the chance but "tipped it over the bar" for 6.  Bilal was fielding nearby and told me that Andrew was in tears.  I doubt that, but I did look around the Park quickly for possible escape routes.  Luckily, we still won.  In my report, I said that Andrew's figures really should have been 6-0-62-2, not 6-0-68-1.  I genuinely meant this as an apology to Andrew but it just sounded like I was taking the piss.  I'm not that brave.

Sorry, I've run out of time, but I will definitely put the Top 5 on by the end of the year.  In the meantime, Seasons Greetings to all readers and, for those of you that celebrate Christmas, I hope it will not be F***ing Bo**ocks.

Sunday 13 December 2015

25 Golden Moments of West - Part 2

20) - This is not so much a moment as a dance / comedy routine which was performed almost every time Andrew did something good on the cricket pitch; which, to give him his due, was frequently.  a) Andrew would, for example, bowl a frustrated slogger; b) John Crossland would rush over and the pair would engage in a light-hearted wrestling bout; c) Emil Todorow would saunter over to the friends, possibly disentangle the pair of them and then, patting Andrew playfully on the gut, would ask him; "when is it due?"

19) - About 5 years ago, we were relaxing with a post-match pint in one of South Wimbledon's many fine and customer-friendly hostelries, which is now - sadly - a Tesco Metro.  Suddenly, the tranquility was disturbed as a large and feisty rottweiler began scrabbling frantically behind the gate which led to the sealed-off roof and started to bark and snarl at the Nomads.  Surreally, the dog was then joined by a small, beautiful, grey wild boar.  Entranced by all this wildlife, Andrew walked over, bravely thrust his fingers through the gate and stroked the boar on the tusk.  The pig purred contentedly.  I don't think I have ever witnessed such a profound connection between man and beast.

18) - A Nomads / Exiles game in August 2014.  Exiles had posted a 200-plus total but were a fielder short and so skipper Todorow sportingly / rashly agreed to lend them a fielder.  Is it customary in these situations to give one of your more mobile fielders and so Emil asked Andrew West to join the opposition.  He quite soon made a series of absolutely basic fielding errors.  I was umpire and had a close-up view of Exiles' skipper Chris Plume's reaction.  To be fair to him, he hid his annoyance very well - and tried to hide Andrew at gully.  Almost instantly, a thick edge from Hamid found its way straight into our hero's meaty paws, and it stuck.  Andrew became an instant Exiles legend.  In a tight match, this catch could have been crucial - though Hamid only made about 8 - but an all-time-great innings from Hassan steered Nomads to victory.

17) - v Crete Sports at Duppas Hill on 14/7/96.  I will let John's scorebook comment tell the tale; "Andrew West could not bowl or field as he injured his finger just before the start."  Crete made 194 for 8.  This kind of cemented Andrew's reputation as being quite exceptionally injury-prone (it was an extremely gentle pre-match throw-around - I think I might have made the throw himself.)  The day also showed Andrew's willingness to stick around and play through his pain.  He batted at No. 11 but, through no fault of Andrew's, Nomads' last pair were only able to put on 7, rather than the 138 needed for victory.  I was the man who was dismissed and left Andrew stranded on 1 Not Out.  Sorry, Andrew.

16) - Purplegate.  We played Dulwich one Sunday in May 2007 at the Del Ballard Rec in Wimbledon. A 2 pm start.  Showing a blithe disregard for punctuality (most Nomads had probably arrived at about 2.40), Andrew West pitched up at 3.25.  For some reason I put Purplegate in the notes but he was, in fact, wearing his other shirt - the blue one; not quite as figure-hugging as the purple number - ?? his One Day International Top.  Bizarrely, the AWAY SIDE (Dulwich) refused to let Andrew play.  Who do they think they are? The MCC?  Versace?  They might have had the hump because Nomads had selected a terrifyingly fast Geordie ringer - name to follow - but the man from Northumberland went for 51 off his 7 overs and it is unlikely Andrew would have gone for 7.3 an over against Dulwich; so even if Andrew had bowled just 2 overs we might well have won a game which we ended up losing by 2 runs. Who knows, Andrew might even have hit the 3 runs we needed to win (we batted with 10 men.)

15) - 21/7/14.  We were sitting in the pub having been hammered by 9 wickets by Addington.  John was repeatedly telling the opposition, much to their amusement, that the day had been a complete waste of his time. It was not an evening that filled me with a love of playing for the Nomads.  Poignantly though, Andrew suddenly gazed, misty-eyed, into the middle distance and said; "I'd love to play in every game."  (He has not really been a regular player for some time - possibly since 2007 when Emil took over the team selection from John.)

14) - In the final game of the 2011 season, Andrew West became only the third man - following Emil and Hassan - to take 100 wickets for the Nomads.  When you think of the excellent bowlers who had not reached this mark for the club, it was quite an achievement.  The opponents were Energy Exiles and, coincidentally, their paceman Simon Gundry reached his 100 wickets for Exiles in the same match.  2 men who are very different in background, looks, build and pace.  One could say though, that they share a few characteristics; accuracy and also a certain "assertiveness" on the field of play.  Apparently John and Andrew shared a bottle of champagne which they had smuggled into a nearby pub to mark the occasion.  I only hope Andrew wasn't injured by the cork.

13) - Rather like the wrestling bouts in number 20, this is a composite moment made up of various incidents. In his Nomads career, Andrew has had 3 main types of response to failure; a) Swearing - which lets face it most of us do from time to time, b) Threatening to quit cricket on the spot (usually after being taken off prematurely or having a catch dropped off his bowling) and c) Lying on the ground and refusing to move, sometimes for considerable periods of time.  A most memorable example of the latter was in 2011 when Caribbean Mix rattled up one of their afternoons of 250-plus punishment.  I felt like a good lie-down myself but Andrew took it literally for the last 3 overs.  If I remember correctly, he lay prone at mid-wicket in overs 33 and 35, but did move round and lie prone at ? Short Third Man in Over 34.  We did wonder whether it would count as 5 if the ball hit him (after all, it is 5 if the ball hits a helmet, which is rather a smaller target than West.)

12) - If the summer of 2012 was a beacon in British sport, it certainly wasn't for the Nomads.  Just quite a sour, sodden experience with 6 games abandoned.  On paper, the match against Exiles in August where we could only raise 6 men, had to beg a by-stander at Raynes Park to play, and got hammered, looks like a low-point even in that bad year; but this one had a few highlights.  Firstly, Nomads managed to poach Naren Patel from Exiles and the sight of 2 veteran maestros of the game - Naren and Emil - opening the bowling together for Nomads must have been a sight to treasure - rather as if Frank Sinatra and John Lennon were sharing Lead Vocals - for the London Symphony Orchestra. Fantasy cricket (I only wish I had been there).  Nomads had batted first and made only 47.  Inevitably Todorow and Patel struck a couple of early blows for us but a brilliant 31 from Jasper Searle brought Exiles level.  Andrew West came on at this point and bowled Searle with an outrageous pea-roller, which the bowler celebrated by shaking his fist at the departing Searle. (This might have been Andrew's apology for the bounce - or it might not.)  Even better was to follow.  Simon Gundry strolled out, not wearing pads, smacked West firmly to leg in the hope of winning the match with a 6, but was brilliantly caught on the Mid-Wicket boundary for a Golden Duck by Prasad, the by-stander who had been press-ganged to play by Emil.  It has never been recorded how Andrew celebrated this wicket.  Marcin Zielenewski then walked out, also with no pads and Andrew on a hat-trick   Had Marcin been out, this Moment would probably have been No. 1 but the former Nomad made no mistake. 4 runs to win a match which shouldn't have been memorable, but was.

11) - I wasn't playing in this game v Wimbledon United in May 2013 but arrived at 3 pm with the tea to find that Mahesh was keeping wicket, original keeper John was rubbing his leg vigorously behind some trees, and Andrew West, who had also not been down to play, was charging around the boundary rope, clad in purple, making sensational boundary-saving stops with every part of his body.  It turned out that John had broken his ankle (Emil still asked him to bat later) and I can only think that Andrew's brilliant fielding (which was the best ground-fielding I have seen him produce for the Nomads) was as a result of the emotion and concern he felt for his great friend.  Actually, Andrew's smartest piece of work was when he noticed a dog approaching the food which had been laid out at the edge of the pitch.  West sprinted 30 yards and the terrified mutt managed only to pouch 1 samosa and a packet of economy chicken slices before fleeing in terror.  West scared me himself that day.

STILL TO FOLLOW - Numbers 10 to 1.  If you are someone that feels concern for a man in pain, is worried about the disappearing rain forest and tree cover, and values the family ties that make Blood thicker than Water, then don't miss it.

Tuesday 8 December 2015

25 Golden moments of West - Part One

Some cricketers are best remembered for swashbuckling innings or heroic rearguard actions; others for blistering pace bowling spells or remarkable deliveries; others for off-the-field incidents involving drink, drugs, night-club hostesses and match-fixing; others still for unsavoury scenes on the field of play; some even for hair (Ballard, Todorow) or incredible statistics (Todorow again).  There cannot be many players at any level of the game, however, who have packed such an incredible variety of incidents into a cricketing career as Nomads' very own headline-grabber Andrew West.  How can you condense such a career into just 25 Memorable Moments.  Well, we can only try.  Here are numbers 25 to 21.

25) - You never forget the first time you see a legendary sportsman in the flesh.  I saw George Best for the first time on New Years Day 1974.  He hardly touched the ball and he quit Manchester United later that week but I've never forgotten it.  In September 2007, Mark Bradshaw (then an Energy Exiles player) saw Andrew West for the first time and described it approximately thus in his match report; "An older chap turned up, late, on his bicycle and proceeded to trundle down 7 overs of reasonably accurate Medium Pace but then, his work done, he trundled off to Square Leg and spent the rest of the innings chuntering about anything and everything."  This somehow encapsulated Andrew on one of his uneventful days - but there weren't many of those.

24) - At Mayow Park, in June 2013, Caribbean Mix batsmen gave us an absolute hammering, belting the ball all over this most depressing of venues.  Nomads' fielders showed good attitude and attempted to do whatever was necessary to stop the ball.  Andrew West even used his testicles and saved 2 (runs, that is).  That was a nasty enough injury but, an over or 2 later, he got under a skied shot and the crack of bone echoed around the park.  We did offer to get him to hospital but he refused.  Trouper that he is, he even stayed on to umpire and so shared in the glory of a freak draw that torrential rain granted us.  It turned out later he had broken his finger in 2 places.  Luckily, he didn't use this finger while umpiring (few Nomads' umpires ever do.)

23) - This should really be higher but I only just remembered it.  The only known film of Nomads in action was taken by the opposition when we played Old Leagonians at John Ruskin Sports Ground in Croydon in September 2011.  I think it is still available on You Tube (If you put in the words Clapham Nomads You Tube on a google search, you should find it.)  The film has it all; a classic Run Out from Abdul, Hassan and Emil bowling, rare footage of former Nomads players such as Chris Kee but, best of all, it has Andrew chasing a straight drive on a slow outfield but slightly downhill.  He puts everything into the chase and it looks all the way as if he is going to prevent 4 but the ball just picks up pace and crawls over the rope leaving Andrew gesticulating and mouthing; "****ing B***ocks" right at the camera.  Brilliant Camerawork.  Eat your heart out, Spielberg.

22) - On 2/8/09, Andrew turned up at Abbey Rec for a match against Kingston Lefthanders in a skin-tight, figure hugging blue T-Shirt.  I think it impressed several of the opposition as it roughly matched the colour of the cans of Tennants Super some of them were drinking from.  Nomads scored 176 for 6 and skipper John Crossland controversially declared.  Lefthanders had recently brought in some new players though, and they started making a good fist of the run chase.  Crossland turned to West, who immediately began to peg back the batsman.  They looked at him in blue and probably thought they should hit him out of the park but they just couldn't - he was too accurate.  In one over, he appealed deafeningly for LBW on each of the first 4 balls.  I was fielding near the Lefthanders and they were chuntering like mad about this, even though the shouts looked fairly adjacent.  The 5th ball - another deafening shout from the bowler, more chuntering from the batting team, but then they noticed that the stumps were shattered and the bails were on the ground.  This was the turning point.  Andrew took 13-4-22-2 and we won the game in the final over.

21) - Another season, another team, another colour.  Nomads had 12, Touring Theatres had 8 and so Andrew, this time wearing purple, was loaned to the opposition for this game on 22/8/10 at Raynes Park.  Looking at the Theatres bowling line-up, Andrew was probably either their best or 2nd-best bowler on paper that day but things didn't go entirely to plan.  Well, they did for the Nomads.  Sumith, in one of his last games, took an absolutely massive liking to Andrew's bowling and raced to one of Nomads' fastest fifties.  Andrew's figures were 3-0-45-0.  I wasn't there that day but I have a hunch he wasn't the happiest of bunnies.

I'll post the Top 20 at the weekend.  It should have everything; laughter, a few tears, sporting drama, technology (mobile phones), fashion, wildlife and surgery (Orthopaedic Surgery and Tree Surgery.)

Andrew West - Statistics for Nomads

Since we are not totally sure whether Andrew will play for Nomads again, his friend and mentor, John Crossland, is preparing an appraisal of the Nomads career of this successful and controversial Medium Pacer.  I'm not sure if he has completed it yet but, since he asked me to do the stats, here they are;

Andrew West
Born - Approx 1960
Raised - In Clapham
Clapham Nomads debut - 26/6/94 v Tower Ravens at Wandsworth Park, SW15
Appearances for club - 88 (11th in all-time list)
Batting -  Innings 46; Not out 9; Runs 142; Highest Score 26; Average 3.84
Bowling - Wickets 116; Runs 2011; Best Bowling 5-20; Average 17.33
Catches - 2 (N.B. Some of the scorecards - about 20 - from the 1990s do not have catches listed, so it is likely he has taken more catches, probably 3 or 4.  He has also taken at least 2 catches against Nomads, fielding for the opposition.)
Personal bests;
Most runs in a season - 57 (1994)
Most wickets in a season - 20 (2002)
Best bowling analysis - 7-2-20-5 v Phoenix Epsom Liberal (30/8/09)
5 wickets in an innings - Once
Highest Score - 26 v Tower Ravens (26/6/94 - on debut.)
Club bests;
Top of Club Bowling Averages - 2005 (Average 6.40)

2015 Season - A report by John Crossland

A season to forget.  By far our worst.  We only won 4 games and 3 of those were in a 20-20 competition against very moderate opposition.  In the normal format of 35 or 40 over games, we only had 1 victory.  Teams we play have improved though, as I've said before.  They are going to beat us more often than we beat them.  Most of our defeats were by big margins as we were usually short of bowlers.  Hassan missed the majority of games with injury and Abbas and Sami didn't play that many games either.  Abbas wanted to bat higher - at least on occasions - but how do you keep everyone in a team happy?  Especially this team.!  We don't know if Abbas will play again, or Sami for that matter.  Only two of our bowlers, Todorow and Sami, took over 10 wickets.  Qasim, a new acquisition, looked a fairly decent bowler with good pace and bounce but he joined us quite late in the season.  Ollie Amos, another newcomer, looked promising as a batsman but was not committed and it's highly unlikely we'll see him again.  He probably had nothing better to do at the time!  Bilal, who only played in one 20-20 game for us, was a very impressive bowler but he was upset when the opposition complained about his action.  It looked OK to me.
In the batting, once again Mark Bradshaw was really solid and Riaz continues to improve.  Prasanth scored a brilliant 87 in our last match but he too missed a lot of games through injury.  Availability was a big problem for us last season, with injuries, people working, holidays and other reasons.  The worst blow was, of course, Hassan's absence. Another problem was that some players were below their best.
Let's hope it's not the same story for Nomads next season.  JC.

Tuesday 1 December 2015

2015 report coming soon and statistical update

Next time I am passing a decent internet cafe I will post the report for the 2015 season written by Nomads' controversial and tough-talking wicket-keeper, John Crossland.  It is quite a good read.
Also, various statistical landmarks have been passed in the last few seasons.

Emil Todorow has now made a scarcely believable 228 successive appearances for the club and has played in over 300 games in all.

John Crossland and Nick Lefebve have passed 250 appearances.

Mahesh Vyas and Riaz Khan have passed the 100 appearance mark.

After a recount of old fixtures, Sumith Prasanna played in 100 games.

I have included a fixture against Battersea Spinners at Vine Road in 2003 where Nomads brought 14 men and lent 3 to the opposition.  This was a perfectly normal Sunday game on a decent pitch prepared by a high quality groundsman (well, alright.... prepared by Renato Philip.)  For some reason, it was decided afterwards that this would count as a practice match; but, since we have included 10-over-a-side matches and a game where we combined with Kingston Taxes, then I think the Spinners game should be included (and not just because I scored 32 not out and took my only wicketkeeping catch for the Nomads.)  Actually, the main beneficiaries are Sumith - who is now up to 100 appearances - and Chris Kennedy, whose 27 is now his top score for the club.

The 9 men who have 100 caps for the club are; Emil Todorow, John Crossland, Nick Lefebve, John Chance, Abdul Khan, Hassan Khan, Mahesh Vyas, Riaz Khan and Sumith Prasanna.

Chris Kennedy with 91 and Andrew West with 88 would make up the 11.

Other landmarks have been passed as well.  I will add them to this post soon.