Clapham Nomads excelled themselves by all arriving promptly for a 1:30 start after a long journey - with the exception of the Fixtures Secretary, that is, who disgraced himself by turning up 25 minutes late. It seems that as our results have deteriorated, at least our punctuality has improved.
With Hassan Khan still unavailable, Nomads took 10 down to Kenley's delightful ground at Little Roke Road. It seemed a stronger line-up than the previous week, particularly in the bowling department.
After a fairly cautious opening 5 overs, Kenley's young opening pair began to accelerate and assume command. The pitch was perfectly flat, if a touch slow, and the ball soon began to race across a very quick outfield to the short-ish boundaries. The 2 batsmen were the Smiths, and Heaven Knows we were soon Miserable as 50 came up in the 10th over and 100 in the 15th. Tommy Smith dealt out some harsh treatment to Andrew West with a string of classy boundaries, mainly through the unprotected long-on area. West was removed from the attack - prompting the by now customary Retirement Speech. Prasanth took over at the Croydon End and produced some lively pace but the batsmen continued to look untroubled. At the Pavilion End, skipper Emil Todorow looked the pick of the bowlers and was the only one to really keep a lid on the scoring rate, never going for more than about 4 an over.
If any bowler really looked like making the breakthrough, it was Terry Bruce-Mills who did force a few unconvincing aerial shots from these excellent openers, but nothing went close enough to a fielder and the juggernaut rolled on.
Darwin finally prised out James Smith for a fine supporting 40, with the score well over 100, but there was little let up as No. 3 Craig Adie soon established himself. Tommy Smith raced on to a brilliant 100, he had really looked in no trouble whatsoever and he retired on 113 to give the other batsman a chance to sample the Nomads buffet.
This was a Time Game and, as 200 was passed, the canny Mark Bradshaw said that he would declare on about 225 if he was the Home captain. Sure enough, soon after a very well-deserved wicket for Emil Todorow, the declaration came with the score on 233 for 2. An early tea was taken and Nomads were left with extra time (90 minutes plus 20 overs in all) to make of this target what they could, with survival for the draw being whispered as an option by the faint-hearted.
I must say that Nomads didn't bowl that badly. We were reasonably accurate but, on a batsman's track, we posed little threat. The fielding was, in the main, OK and catching was not an issue as Kenley's batsmen adopted the cunning plan of not hitting the ball in the air anywhere near a fielder. Emil Todorow bowled his heart out. I went to pat him on the shoulder after he took his wicket and a mini-tsunami rolled down his back. It was the wettest I have ever seen a man get on a sunny day.
We tried to wind John Crossland up at tea by asking Emil to tell him to open the batting, but Emil was too intent on rehydrating with a fifth cup of tea to play along. The usual openers Mark Bradshaw and Mahesh Vyas took guard and the opening over turned out to be one of the most remarkable in Nomads' history. Four high leg-side No Balls were smacked to the boundary by our boys, along with 4 other runs to make a score of 24 for 0 after 1 over. The most we have ever scored in an opening over. We were up with the rate at this point.
This was as good as it got for us. Sanity was restored by the clever spinner John Mitchell and by the excellent seamer Dylan Jones. Jones bowled 5 overs for no runs with accuracy and late swing. Mark Bradshaw did manage to drive him but kept picking out the cover fielders.
The opening stand had realised 33 off only 44 balls when Mitchell broke through, having Mahesh Vyas caught at Square Leg off his first bad ball, a slow full toss. An old cricketing truism was dusted down as the Home Side opined that; "Shit gets Wickets."
No. 3 Prasanth Pattiyil played some nice shots including a fine straight drive off Mitchell but the off-spinner was beginning to turn the odd one away and found the outside edge of Pattiyil's bat for a caught behind. 42 for 2.
Darwin came out to join Bradshaw and we hoped for a repeat of their brilliant match-winning stand against Streatham and Marlborough (a not dissimilar team and pitch to Kenley.) Sadly Darwin mis-timed a pull and was caught with the score on 53. Mark Bradshaw continued to play the best knock of any Nomad but when he was caught, again off Mitchell, for 26, the draw became the only target and suddenly a tricky one with approximately 25 overs to survive. No. 6 Nick Lefebve specialised in this type of stone-walling in his Open University days (to the disgust of his team-mates, The Hunter Family) and after surviving an early mis-timed sweep he set his stall out to play not a single shot. Chris Kennedy batted really nicely at the other end to keep some kind of momentum going. Gradually, the fielders crowded Lefebve closer and closer. He did last 7 overs but a bowling change brought on Kenley captain John Hewitt who did for the veteran blocker with a little extra bounce, Man of the Match Tommy Smith taking a smart low catch at Silly Point.
Hewitt ended a good knock from Kennedy a couple of overs later and from then on it was downhill fast. Charlie Nash bowled Emil Todorow. Terry Bruce-Mills survived an absolute snorter from Hewitt before falling to Nash. Andrew West entertained his legion of fans with one of his inimitable back-handed leg-side pulls which stopped millimetres from the rope. He then engineered a fantastic leave, which bamboozled the keeper and gained 4 byes for our paltry total. Sadly a straight one from Hewitt did for West and No. 9 John Crossland was left stranded on 0 not out - possibly a waste of a good defensive player. He should probably have gone in higher, at No. 7. Having said that though, we fell about 15 overs short of surviving for the draw.
Well, it was a day out at a nice ground. The opposition were OK. It was a bit strange out in the middle, being surrounded by impenetrable teenage banter - it felt a bit like being an extra in The Inbetweeners, or possibly Lee Nelson's Well Good Show, but anyway their cricket was "Quaaalllitteee!!!" Tommy Smith's hundred was brilliant.
Man of the Match is tricky. Emil Todorow put everything into his bowling and was the best bowler, but he got it last week and has only taken 2 for 55 across the 2 games which doesn't really justify back-to-back awards. I would go for Mark Bradshaw who provided easily the best Nomads batting, he would have scored more than 26 if not for a very well-placed field. Fielder of the Day - John Crossland who only conceded 1 bye. Crossland's opinion; "How could I concede byes against bowling like that" (implying it was a little one-dimensional.)
Quote of the Day; - As we were leaving, one of the Kenley batsmen said to John Crossland; "Thanks for the practice, lads," which John was a bit indignant about. Having thought about it though, that is not a bad thing. We were never likely to win this game but we did provide Kenley batsmen with some pretty accurate, if unthreatening bowling to practice their shots against. We lasted 32 overs so they had time to give anyone a bowl who wanted it. We were mostly punctual, all sporting and mostly uncomplaining and, finally, we produced a high-class performance in the bar with almost 20 pints being sunk. We're not such a bad little club really.
Southern Railway and Kenley - 233 for 2 Declared from 33 overs
Todorow 12-2-44-1
West 8-1-60-0
Pattiyil 4-0-37-0
Bruce-Mills 5-0-43-0
Darwin 4-0-40-1
Clapham Nomads - 81 from 31.2 overs
Bradshaw 26
Vyas 18
Pattiyil 9
Darwin 0
Kennedy 10
Lefebve 1
Todorow 0
Bruce-Mills 0
Crossland 0 not out
West 2
F.O.W. - 33, 42, 53, 60, 69, 70, 74, 75, 81
Clapham Nomads lost by 152 runs
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