The John Crossland Wicketkeepers XI

In honour of our veteran wicketkeeper John Crossland's outstanding season last year, I have selected a Fantasy Wicketkeepers' XI made up of Nomads players past and present, together with a sprinkling of international stars;
Can you imagine the intensity of the on-field verbals with 11 keepers on the pitch, and try to picture the scene in the dressing room as they limbered up, performed imaginary stumpings, made scathing comments about outfielders' throwing ability and just generally behaved as wicketkeepers do?  It would actually be quite scary and that is why I have appointed 2 Team Managers to keep order; Emil Todorow, of course, plus a specialist Wicketkeeper/Manager to be revealed later.
Here is the batting order.

1) - Alec Stewart (Surrey and England) - Much too dapper and technically correct - and not eccentric enough - for a Nomads line-up really, but would almost certainly be the best batsman in the side.  Also, like the Nomads, he is believed to have played a lot of cricket in Wimbledon (but probably not at Dundonald Road Rec.)

2) - Mahesh Vyas (Croydon Spinners, Caribbean Mix and Clapham Nomads) - A very capable glovesman and stumping specialist who has deputised successfully for Crossland on several occasions.  He would form one half of a classic opening batting partnership - The orthodoxy of Stewart and the improvisation of Vyas.  One hopes there would not be too many run-out incidents.

3) - Paul Downton ( Middlesex and England) - Arguably the best defensive batsman in the side and a fine keeper who unfortunately suffered a freak injury worthy of Nomads' own Andrew West when a bail became lodged in his eye.  He would be an ideal batting foil for Vyas if Stewart was out early.

4) - Farokh Engineer (Lancashire and India) - A dashing and charismatic performer who opened the batting for Lancashire in Sunday cricket and whose natural air of authority could be a calming influence in this dressing room.

5) - Graeme Douglas (Open University, Battersea Ironsides and Clapham Nomads) - Probably the least proficient keeper in the side but a capable Sunday Cricket batsman.  Also, how many of the others in this line-up can boast a string of Top 20 hits? (Kursaal Flyers, Eddie and the Hot Rods.)  Would be more than capable of participating in the banter which would quite possibly be a feature of this team - he once described an Open University Line-Up, including several Hunters, as being "a bunch of Mamas and Papas."

6) - Adam Gilchrist (Australia) - An automatic selection who was fantastic to watch but who broke English hearts probably more often than any other player.  If this team took on, say, Energy Exiles, it would be great to watch him breaking their hearts if he came in at about 25 for 4 and slog-swept Simon Gundry onto the tram tracks by Nursery Road.  Was known for his sporting nature and for "walking."  Given Nomads umpires' reputation, he might even find himself walking when LBW appeals were rejected.

7) - Alan Knott (Kent and England) - Like many Nomads, this legend of the 70s was known to be a touch eccentric.  Unlike many Nomads, he was a noted fitness fanatic.  Stunningly acrobatic and agile, he was a "Keepers' Keeper."  His discussions about technique with Crossland would be fascinating to listen to.  A very successful late-middle-order batsman.

8) - Jack Russell (Gloucestershire and England) - Another automatic selection.  The man from Stroud was pure entertainment and his famously patched-up and disintegrating gloves and hat would not be out of place in Emil Todorow's Nomads Kit Bag.

9) - Wasim Bari (Pakistan) - Rated by many as Pakistan's finest glovesman.  He had to cope with facing a bowling line-up containing such diverse styles and talents as Imran Khan and Abdul Qadir.  Like Crossland, he famously detested allowing the ball to pass him and, in 1978, he went through a whole 3-match Test series against England without conceding a bye.

10) John Crossland (Open University and Clapham Nomads) - (Captain) - A Clapham Nomads legend who has just had his finest season behind the sticks at the age of ?????.  An underused but capable batsman who has scored a 50 for the Nomads and, when reminded that he once spanked Kingston Lefthanders all over the park, replied; "Yes, and I made some runs against them as well."  Can occasionally be a harsh critic and it would be entertaining if, in this line-up, he berated Gilchrist for slow scoring e.g. "Come on Adam, we're falling behind the rate and there's only really Knott, Russell and Bari to come.

11) - Bob Taylor (Derbyshire and England) - Would be regarded by many as the most technically proficient wicketkeeper in this side but could possibly not hold his own with the other 10 as a batsman.  Would be likely to bat in a 10th wicket partnership with Crossland but I'm sure the Nomads man would be able to shield Taylor from the strike.

Co-Managers;

Emil Todorow (Open University and Clapham Nomads) - It would take a tough manager to control this XI so Todorow would fit the bill.  Also, given that Mahesh Vyas is the only recognised front-line bowler in the side.  Todorow might be required to sub-field and could be allowed to sneak in a few overs of medium pace if the opposition were sporting.

Rod Marsh  (Australia) - Ordinarily, his competitive streak and willingness to engage the opposition in on-pitch conversation would be sorely missed from any playing line-up.  However, in this side, competitiveness and verbal dexterity would not be in short supply.  He would still be useful in a coaching role, breaking up dressing room fights and possibly organising the tea.  3 Tinnies each for the lads at half-time?

12th Man;

Karl Krikken (Derbyshire) - Emil's favourite wicketkeeper - need I say more?

So that is the line-up, but one burning question remains. Who would actually keep wicket?  I think the best solution would be for each man to take 3 overs of the usual Clapham Nomads 35.  The last 2 overs could then be allotted to the keeper who had impressed most.  This could be decided by calm and democratic discussion within the side.........or maybe not (we are talking about 11 wicketkeepers here.)