This was the match that had everything. I've run out of time to do the report but there will be a lot to put in it when I do. A few of the home side were less than impressed but Nomads were examplary in every sense and, as you will see from the scores, were very well-matched opponents for the home side. Ham and Petersham are an excellent club - over 200 years old - with fine facilities. It was one of the most enjoyable Nomads games and was a privilege to be a part of - even though I am still only umpiring, due to injury.
A few points. This was the Nomads highest-ever successful run chase and, I believe, our highest total batting second. Hassan also passed the fantastic landmark of 5,000 runs for the club - full tribute to follow. He also appeared to have made his highest score for Nomads but something has gone wrong with the adding up of individual totals (no problems at all with the team total, I hasten to add) and he appears actually to have made only 105 rather than the 122 John arrived at after a hasty tally. We will sort this out next week. I would be severely cheesed off if my scorebook total was ever reduced by 17 but that is because it would usually leave me with a minus score - I suppose ending up on 105 is not so bad.
Time game.
Ham and Petersham 262 for 4 from 35 overs.
Nomads' bowling;
Hassan 6-1-23-1
Emil 6-0-37-0
Abbas 8-0-64-1
Zia 6-0-43-1
KK 4-0-49-0
Mudassar 2-0-19-0
Abdul 2-0-13-0
Javed 1-0-8-0
Clapham Nomads 263 for 5 from 40.4 overs
Mahesh 8 (Returned after retiring hurt in 3rd over.)
Abdul 10
Javed 63 (originally recorded as 58)
Hassan 105 not out (originally recorded as 122 not out)
Darwin 0
Zia 66 (originally recorded as 55)
KK not out 4
Did not bat; Abbas, Emil (capt), John (wkt), Mudassar
F.O.W. - 47, 114, 119, 128, 244
Clapham Nomads won by 5 wickets with 8 balls remaining.
Man of the Match - Hassan (a fairly easy choice)
Fielder of the Day - Mudassar
As I say, there was absolutely no problem with John's recording of the scores or the team total. He just added up some players' totals wrongly (I noticed this this morning when I realised Zia's 55 looked a bit low for the amount of boundaries he had hit.)
So Nomads have one more game before our mid-season break. Wimbledon United - always difficult opponents but we have, in Hassan, a man who is averaging over 250 with the bat.
FULL REPORT TO FOLLOW.
UPDATE - Nomads arrived promptly and all on time for this fixture - arranged in midweek via The Fixture List - against Ham and Petersham at their excellent Ham Common ground. Nomads skipper Emil Todorow, in his 249th successive appearance for the club, won the toss and elected to bat, maintaining quite audibly that this gave us the additional option of drawing this Time Game if things didn't go well. This had the result of causing H & P to underestimate us slightly, which might have been of benefit later on.
The home side got off to a good start with their more senior opener milking the short square boundaries well; however we had a stroke of good fortune when he edged one from Hassan into the ground and it rolled languidly back onto the stumps - approx 20 for 1.
From then on it was hard work for our bowlers and fielders. I had a long chat with Ham's Fixtures Secretary Bobby Jordan who told me some of the history of this 202-year-old club. They have close links with the mega-rich Goldsmith family. The former MP Zac Goldsmith has played on the ground along with, I think, Imran Khan, Shane Warne and several Crystal Palace footballers. It was an interesting conversation but, when I looked up, the score had moved on to about 65 for 1. The batting was very sound but Nomads were not quite getting the rub of the green when several close LBW shouts rebutted and a couple of fiery overs from Abbas which produced a string of edges flying harmlessly over the keeper and slips.
We kept our shape in the field for a long while - though Emil was unlucky with several misfields off his bowling - but Mudassar, the youngest member of the side, showed us the way with some excellent stops and running dragbacks just short of the rope. He then finally caused the breakthrough with a well-judged catch at Short Third Man.
Ham kicked on in the second half of the innings. Excellent batting from the young Reddish, aged 15 or so and he represents his district at his age group, was a highlight. Nomads fielding became a little ragged with three Overthrows for 4 causing unnecessary runs. A nice catch was taken by Darwin at Square Leg and it was good to see Abdul back on the pitch and close to his deadly best with a Direct Hit from two-thirds of the way back and a good throw in to KK which resulted in a run out - our only other wicket. The declaration came at tea with 262 for 4 on the board. Nomads' over rate was 14.5 per hour which was not too atrocious given the amount of time we had spent collecting the ball from various parts of Ham Common, and the lack of spinners in the side. Hassan had the only really decent bowling figures with 1 for 23 off 6. Everyone else went for above 6.
Nomads were a little downhearted while we munched the excellent tea but one of the opposition did assure us there were still plenty of runs in the pitch.
As we commenced our reply, it was clear H & P were going full throttle for the win. At one end, the distinctly quick and bouncy S. Khan roared in, encouraged by vocal close up fielders, and looked a handful. At the other end. A slow bowler fed us short-ish stuff in what was clearly an attempt to gift us some runs and keep us interested in the chase. In the third over, a bouncer from Khan caught Mahesh on the top edge of his visor and our opener had to go off with facial bleeding. One of the Nomads implied that the level of concern shown to Mahesh by the home side was not exactly overwhelming but, as umpire, I am not sure that was the case and anyway, as former Nomads' paceman Jason Srhoj put it; "it's not a softcock game;" (even in Sunday non-league fixtures.)
Abdul kept up a stout defence against some fiery stuff from Khan while Javed creamed the slow bowler to the leg-side and straight boundaries - there was no-one deep - and raced into the thirties in no time. In the 9th over, with the score already on 47, Khan - who had had a half-hearted leg before shout turned down, got Abdul to glove one to the keeper. Abdul had showed guts to tough it out early on and boost our chances of achieving our target - at that stage, holding on for the draw.
Hassan came out and good, untroubled progress was maintained at both ends with the paceman tiring. Ahmed replaced Khan at the Park End and angled the ball in sharply at good pace. Runs were still on tap at the Pond End but Ham's ploy to keep us interested almost paid off as Javed skied one off the slow bowler, but fortunately for us it fell between 3 men. As the score passed 100, a paceman was also brought on at the Pond End. Javed and, particularly, Hassan were playing brilliantly but the game looked like petering out into a draw as we were well behind the rate. Then the game suddenly changed as Ahmed jagged one back to bowl Javed, Hamid bowled Darwin and Mahesh, brave and bandaged, resumed but did not last too long.
There was a very strong LBW shout against Mahesh which was turned down by Umpire Todorow resulting in the following gem from Ham's angriest fielder who was becoming incandescent with rage about .....just about everything. "They obviously don't give LBWs in Bulgaria." Interesting, as it seems they don't give a lot in Ham and Petersham either.
Around this stage, Ham's skipper got his side to start racing through the overs before the 6.30 deadline. The skipper emphasized that it was the clock on the scoreboard that counted and, at one point, I thought I heard him say that he had moved the clock back 5 minutes to ensure enough overs were bowled. Hmmm....
If this is not the case, I apologise, but if it was the case, then it backfired spectacularly. Ham bowled 15.5 per hour in the period up to 6.30 which, if you take into account that they scurried through the last few, was on a par with Nomads' rate.
After 6.30, the final 20 overs kicked in but Nomads needed around 150 and, once we were 4 down, a draw seemed to be the only target. A few more overs from slow or part-time bowlers were used to keep us chasing but this only had the effect of allowing Zia to play himself in and start to bat brilliantly, seeing it like a football. Hassan had been doing so for quite a while already. Ham seemed shocked by the power of our middle-order (a few whispers had indicated they had expected the opposite) as successive enormous sixes flew off Zia's bat - the second one right out of the ground.
Suddenly only around 65 were needed from the last 10. It was all out attack from Ham as Reddish and Ahmed steamed in, but it was sensible, controlled cricket from our boys as they chipped away at the rate.
Towards the end, Reddish bowled Zia for a fine 66. There was slight pressure on new man KK but he shrugged this off with a resounding pull for 4 (which actually looked like 6.) We were almost over the line and 5 were needed from 2 overs. Man of the Match Hassan achieved this in 4 balls to put a seal on what was a fantastic win for the Nomads.
It could be said - and was - that Nomads faced more overs than the opposition but remember that the home side did declare. Obviously, a tea-time declaration is expected but it was clear they thought they had enough runs on the board to avoid defeat and were going all out to maximise their number of overs to go for the win.
Their ploy of gifting us runs and trying to induce shots was worth a try. I could see the point in it but it backfired with Nomads having batsmen as destructive as Hassan, Javed and Zia. Overall though, it was a splendid match between two sides who were a very good match-up in terms of batting (we had slightly the most destructive players), bowling (Ham had the best bowler), scoring rate and over rate. Ham had the edge in fielding but both sides had very good wicketkeepers.
I don't know if they will want to play us again. The vibe was that they won't, but it will be a game to look forward to if they do.
Man of the Match - Hassan. Originally it seemed he had made 122, his highest Nomads score, but after a recount it looks like 105. Still probably his second-best Nomads innings of all time. He was the best bowler as well. He also brought up his 5,000 runs for the Nomads. This is well clear of any other Nomads player and will almost certainly not be achieved by anyone else. I cannot think of anyone else that has managed 5,000 runs for a club of our type. Full tribute to follow.
Fielder of the Day - Mudassar.
If you check out Ham and Petersham's website (search Ham and Petersham cc on google) you will find the details of this match.....kind of. Apparently H & P lost to Battersea Eagles. Oh, close one! Clapham and Battersea do have a kind of symbiotic relationship (Clapham Junction station is in Battersea town centre). And then there is that whole Nomads and Eagles connection.....well, maybe if you live in the Atlas Mountains. To be honest though, I enjoyed this win so much I wouldn't mind if it was credited to the Mitcham Turtles.......The plot thickens, not only were we the Battersea Eagles for this match but, according to Ham and Petersham's (fake) news department, our batting was opened by Jonny Rosenthal. They must mean the Surbiton Imperials skipper, which would be great if it was true - he is a brilliant player.
Monday, 15 May 2017
Saturday, 13 May 2017
Energy Exiles v Clapham Nomads - 7/5/17
After a bright start - 114 for 2 at one point - and another excellent partnership beteen Mahesh and Hassan, Nomads threw it away a bit against some professional and enterprising Exiles bowling and finished on a rather under par 147 all out. At least we had a chance to savour a 10th wicket stand between Emil and John; always worth the admission money.
In reply, our 2 veteran heroes struck early to remove Steve Parkinson - who scored an all-time Exiles record score of 141 against us last year - with a fine diving catch behind the stumps. However a well-paced stand of 90 or so between Keith Roberts - whose 50 came up with the score on only around 85 - and skipper Chris Plume took the Exiles within striking distance of victory, and they got home comfortably despite 2 late wickets from Zia.
FULL REPORT TO FOLLOW - In the meantime there is a report on Exiles' website. If you search Energy Exiles on google and then go into Match Reports and 2017 Match reports - there it is.
UPDATE - A slightly disappointing defeat against our perennial nemesis (or to use the Clapham vernacular - bloody awkward sods who always beat us) the Energy Exiles.
Nomads were surprisingly inserted by the Exiles - what were they up to this time? Also surprisingly, Simon Gundry was missing from the line-up but in Jibran Ahmed they have an opening bowler who does not quite have Gundry's accuracy but may have the slight edge on pace at times. He roared downhill and soon claimed the scalp of Darwin. A quality catch in the gully by Keith Roberts. 8 for 1. KK made his debut in this fixture last year and produced a similar pinch-hitting performance - 5 boundaries in his 22 - to lift the gloom a little. Mahesh's excellent form was continuing and his usual mixture of obduracy, flamboyant footwork and crunching leg-side blows was rapidly improving our position. When Hassan joined him, the pair picked up where they left off 2 weeks previously and produced a really high-class stand of 81 for the 3rd wicket. They kept up a good rate against the openers but Exiles fielding was, as ever, tight - particularly newcomer Geoff Ng. Having overheard that this was Ng's first competitive cricket match, our heroes tried to take a cheeky single to him, not realising that he is a Canadian baseball player. "Thwack" went the bullet throw into keeper Chris Plume's gloves right over the stumps. We survived by millimetres. Andy Wingfield and Bernard Leuvinnink took over the bowling. With the 20-over drinks break in sight, Hassan played his only loose shot of the innings, cutting one from Leuvinnink that was a little too close and being unlucky to get a thick inside edge onto the stumps. An absolutely crucial wicket.
114 for 3 quickly became 114 for 5 as Riaz - a fine catch over the fielder's shoulder - and Naeem departed either side of the drinks break. Javed and Mahesh stroked another valuable 22 runs but Exiles had, in Wingfield and Phil Ling, a pair of thinking bowlers who get a lot of movement - Ling in the air; Wingfield usually off the seam. Wingfield was not fully fit but even at 80% pace down the hill he was a handful and bowled Javed followed by the vital wicket of Zia - clipping leg stump. Meanwhile Mahesh, who had played very well for his 35 (possibly his best score against the Exiles) was deceived by an inswinger from Ling that did not move as much as Ling's usually do and was bowled. Abbas hit our only 6 of the day but departed to bring together Emil Todorow and John Crossland in what, as ever, was a treat for fans of adult entertainment. The pair stayed together for 5 overs in what Exiles' report described diplomatically as a gritty stand. It was fairly uncontroversial by their standards but they did have a sharp exchange of views about who played the most shots which, when you have just made a stand of 5 in 5 overs is rather like 2 UKIP candidates arguing about who has the greater love for the EU Parliament. Eventually Crossland holed out - his first dismissal for over a year and a half - and left Nomads with 2 unused overs and a total of 147 which was probably at last 50 below par for Cottenham Park in the sunshine.
An excellent tea was enjoyed as Nomads mulled over the possible methods of avoiding defeat. A sudden torrential thunderstorm appearing out of the bright blue sky? Mining subsidence causing the pitch to disappear? Just going home? What was not helpful, when defending 147 on a batting paradise, was seeing a man who scored 141 against us last year taking strike. Surprisingly, Exiles highest individual innings man, Steve Parkinson, was undone by a brilliant combination from Emil Todorow and John Crossland. The keeper diving forward to snaffle a ball that the veteran seamer had drifted onto the outside edge of Parkinson's bat. A fine start but Keith Roberts and Chris Plume soon began to look very assured. Roberts has always been extremely difficult to get out but he is even more adept these days at using the pace of the ball and the short straight boundaries at Cottenham Park facilitated this. Plume is also an accomplished accumulator of runs and the pair were in little trouble and took singles at will against a field that was too deep in places. Roberts passed his 50 with the score still well below 100. Some small hope was revived when Zia produced a beauty first ball up after drinks to have Roberts caught behind. Zia and John Crossland combined again for the third wicket but Plume led his side safely home for a victory that had never been in doubt from about 40 for 1 onwards.
Well done Exiles ... yet again. It was actually a fine achievement to dismiss a Nomads line-up who, in our other 3 matches this season to date (15/5), have scored a total of 703 runs for the loss of only 14 wickets.
We had an enjoyable drink afterwards in the Raynes Park Tavern where we learned that Keith Roberts' son, an off-spinner, has just made his debut for the Exiles. So there is another generation rising up to torment us. Is there no hope?
We also met Simon Gundry, taking an afternoon constitutional with his excellent dog - a pug called Beefy. Yes, named after Ian Botham, an opponent only slightly less formidable than Gundry himself. I do not know whether any Nomads have pets but, if Emil Todorow had a dog, one assumes it would be called Hick, or Graeme, after his favourite player/obsession (it would therefore have to be a Rhodesian - or Zimbabwean - Ridgeback). Being a keeper, I imagine John Crossland would have a Jack Russell. Maybe we will just hire a big, fluffy, animal mascot (like football teams have) and bring it along for the return match against Exiles on 20th August. It is worth trying anything to put them off.
Man of the Match was Hassan who scored 44.
Fielder of the Day was John Crossland; a hat-trick of catches (the only wickets we took) and only one ball went past him for byes.
Clapham Nomads 147 all out from 33 overs
Mahesh 35
Darwin 4
KK 22
Hassan 44
Riaz 0
Naeem 0
Javed 13
Zia 0
Abbas 6
Emil not out 2
John 3
F.O.W. - 8, 33, 114, 114, 114, 136, 136, 142, 142, 147
Energy Exiles 148 for 3 from 27.2 overs (K. Roberts 57)
Nomads' bowling;
Hassan 5-2-15-0
Emil 4-1-24-1
Riaz 4-0-22-0
Abbas 5-0-32-0
KK 4-0-24-0
Zia 4-0-16-2
Javed 1.2-0-8-0
Clapham Nomads lost by 7 wickets
In reply, our 2 veteran heroes struck early to remove Steve Parkinson - who scored an all-time Exiles record score of 141 against us last year - with a fine diving catch behind the stumps. However a well-paced stand of 90 or so between Keith Roberts - whose 50 came up with the score on only around 85 - and skipper Chris Plume took the Exiles within striking distance of victory, and they got home comfortably despite 2 late wickets from Zia.
FULL REPORT TO FOLLOW - In the meantime there is a report on Exiles' website. If you search Energy Exiles on google and then go into Match Reports and 2017 Match reports - there it is.
UPDATE - A slightly disappointing defeat against our perennial nemesis (or to use the Clapham vernacular - bloody awkward sods who always beat us) the Energy Exiles.
Nomads were surprisingly inserted by the Exiles - what were they up to this time? Also surprisingly, Simon Gundry was missing from the line-up but in Jibran Ahmed they have an opening bowler who does not quite have Gundry's accuracy but may have the slight edge on pace at times. He roared downhill and soon claimed the scalp of Darwin. A quality catch in the gully by Keith Roberts. 8 for 1. KK made his debut in this fixture last year and produced a similar pinch-hitting performance - 5 boundaries in his 22 - to lift the gloom a little. Mahesh's excellent form was continuing and his usual mixture of obduracy, flamboyant footwork and crunching leg-side blows was rapidly improving our position. When Hassan joined him, the pair picked up where they left off 2 weeks previously and produced a really high-class stand of 81 for the 3rd wicket. They kept up a good rate against the openers but Exiles fielding was, as ever, tight - particularly newcomer Geoff Ng. Having overheard that this was Ng's first competitive cricket match, our heroes tried to take a cheeky single to him, not realising that he is a Canadian baseball player. "Thwack" went the bullet throw into keeper Chris Plume's gloves right over the stumps. We survived by millimetres. Andy Wingfield and Bernard Leuvinnink took over the bowling. With the 20-over drinks break in sight, Hassan played his only loose shot of the innings, cutting one from Leuvinnink that was a little too close and being unlucky to get a thick inside edge onto the stumps. An absolutely crucial wicket.
114 for 3 quickly became 114 for 5 as Riaz - a fine catch over the fielder's shoulder - and Naeem departed either side of the drinks break. Javed and Mahesh stroked another valuable 22 runs but Exiles had, in Wingfield and Phil Ling, a pair of thinking bowlers who get a lot of movement - Ling in the air; Wingfield usually off the seam. Wingfield was not fully fit but even at 80% pace down the hill he was a handful and bowled Javed followed by the vital wicket of Zia - clipping leg stump. Meanwhile Mahesh, who had played very well for his 35 (possibly his best score against the Exiles) was deceived by an inswinger from Ling that did not move as much as Ling's usually do and was bowled. Abbas hit our only 6 of the day but departed to bring together Emil Todorow and John Crossland in what, as ever, was a treat for fans of adult entertainment. The pair stayed together for 5 overs in what Exiles' report described diplomatically as a gritty stand. It was fairly uncontroversial by their standards but they did have a sharp exchange of views about who played the most shots which, when you have just made a stand of 5 in 5 overs is rather like 2 UKIP candidates arguing about who has the greater love for the EU Parliament. Eventually Crossland holed out - his first dismissal for over a year and a half - and left Nomads with 2 unused overs and a total of 147 which was probably at last 50 below par for Cottenham Park in the sunshine.
An excellent tea was enjoyed as Nomads mulled over the possible methods of avoiding defeat. A sudden torrential thunderstorm appearing out of the bright blue sky? Mining subsidence causing the pitch to disappear? Just going home? What was not helpful, when defending 147 on a batting paradise, was seeing a man who scored 141 against us last year taking strike. Surprisingly, Exiles highest individual innings man, Steve Parkinson, was undone by a brilliant combination from Emil Todorow and John Crossland. The keeper diving forward to snaffle a ball that the veteran seamer had drifted onto the outside edge of Parkinson's bat. A fine start but Keith Roberts and Chris Plume soon began to look very assured. Roberts has always been extremely difficult to get out but he is even more adept these days at using the pace of the ball and the short straight boundaries at Cottenham Park facilitated this. Plume is also an accomplished accumulator of runs and the pair were in little trouble and took singles at will against a field that was too deep in places. Roberts passed his 50 with the score still well below 100. Some small hope was revived when Zia produced a beauty first ball up after drinks to have Roberts caught behind. Zia and John Crossland combined again for the third wicket but Plume led his side safely home for a victory that had never been in doubt from about 40 for 1 onwards.
Well done Exiles ... yet again. It was actually a fine achievement to dismiss a Nomads line-up who, in our other 3 matches this season to date (15/5), have scored a total of 703 runs for the loss of only 14 wickets.
We had an enjoyable drink afterwards in the Raynes Park Tavern where we learned that Keith Roberts' son, an off-spinner, has just made his debut for the Exiles. So there is another generation rising up to torment us. Is there no hope?
We also met Simon Gundry, taking an afternoon constitutional with his excellent dog - a pug called Beefy. Yes, named after Ian Botham, an opponent only slightly less formidable than Gundry himself. I do not know whether any Nomads have pets but, if Emil Todorow had a dog, one assumes it would be called Hick, or Graeme, after his favourite player/obsession (it would therefore have to be a Rhodesian - or Zimbabwean - Ridgeback). Being a keeper, I imagine John Crossland would have a Jack Russell. Maybe we will just hire a big, fluffy, animal mascot (like football teams have) and bring it along for the return match against Exiles on 20th August. It is worth trying anything to put them off.
Man of the Match was Hassan who scored 44.
Fielder of the Day was John Crossland; a hat-trick of catches (the only wickets we took) and only one ball went past him for byes.
Clapham Nomads 147 all out from 33 overs
Mahesh 35
Darwin 4
KK 22
Hassan 44
Riaz 0
Naeem 0
Javed 13
Zia 0
Abbas 6
Emil not out 2
John 3
F.O.W. - 8, 33, 114, 114, 114, 136, 136, 142, 142, 147
Energy Exiles 148 for 3 from 27.2 overs (K. Roberts 57)
Nomads' bowling;
Hassan 5-2-15-0
Emil 4-1-24-1
Riaz 4-0-22-0
Abbas 5-0-32-0
KK 4-0-24-0
Zia 4-0-16-2
Javed 1.2-0-8-0
Clapham Nomads lost by 7 wickets
Monday, 1 May 2017
Burgh Heath v Clapham Nomads - 30/4/17
Nomads made it 2 out of 2 with an emphatic victory against a much-changed Burgh Heath side including several first team league players. A very entertaining match played in an excellent, sporting atmosphere
Although Nomads did not bowl a single maiden, Burgh Heath, despite including several players from their 1st team Surrey Downs League side, could not really accelerate apart from a spell around overs 25 to 30. Zia made the early breakthrough but it was Emil who really put a clamp on the scoring rate. The first man out described Emil's bowling thus; "The old boy's just so frustrating. He doesn't spin it but it just takes forever to come down." I was not going to put this in the report but in the interests of accurate journalistic representation (and not because I want to take the piss out of Emil - I'm not that brave) I have done. Anyway, if you can restrict club players to 2.3 an over on a good track in a 35 overs a side game, you must be doing something right.
Further tight spells from KK and a flurry of late wickets from Abbas, Mudassar and Javed meant Burgh only posted 141 which was gettable on paper however, with both the previous week's batting heroes missing, we felt our chances were only around 50 % at tea.
Two early wickets for the home side removed our experimental opening partnership - Zahid and Naeem and a bright start from Riaz was cut off in its prime by a rare leg before decision from Umpire Lefebve (I don't give too many but this was a yorker on leg and middle...sorry. It was given very reluctantly as I really enjoy Riaz's batting.) 35 for 3 and we were in a spot of bother. Fortunately, Darwin played a fine hand on seasonal debut with a hard-hitting 27. Javed was still there and - usually an explosive hitter - played very sensibly (rotating the strike and progressing from 20 to 40 with 2 twos and 16 singles. When Darwin departed on 88 for 4 there was still a lot of work to do but Zia took command - the highlight was a brilliant hook shot - and quickly knocked off 38 of the 53 runs we needed to win.
A great way to secure only our second victory over Burgh in about 7 games. A win that looked in doubt for while but was eventually secured with almost 10 overs to spare.
Burgh Heath 141 for 5 (Masini 49, Matthew 40) from 35 overs
Nomads bowling;
Zia 7-0-28-1
Emil 7-0-16-0
Abbas 7-0-32-1
KK 7-0-25-0
Mudassar 4-0-31-1
Javed 3-0-7-2
Clapham Nomads 143 for 4 from 25.2 overs
Zahid 3
Naeem 8
Javed 47 not out
Riaz 10
Darwin 27
Zia not out 38
Did not bat: KK, Abbas, Emil(capt), John (wkt), Mudassar
F.O.W. - 11, 17, 35, 88
Clapham Nomads won by 6 wickets.
Man of the Match - Javed
Fielder of the Day - Mudassar
Although Javed was Man of the Match on the figures, I must mention the brilliant all-round contribution made to this fixture by Zia who not only opened the bowling, saw us home to victory in an unbroken 50 partnership with Javed, but also brought along 3 new players (including the excellent, youthful Mudassar) as we were hit by injuries and withdrawals. He also played one of the best shots seen from a Nomads player; a stunning hook right off his nose against a lively paceman.
Next up is Energy Exiles and it looks as if we might have a strong side on paper - we are going to need it. If any players with test experience (oh go on, we might also consider county players as well) are reading this, then please contact me and you can have my place.
Although Nomads did not bowl a single maiden, Burgh Heath, despite including several players from their 1st team Surrey Downs League side, could not really accelerate apart from a spell around overs 25 to 30. Zia made the early breakthrough but it was Emil who really put a clamp on the scoring rate. The first man out described Emil's bowling thus; "The old boy's just so frustrating. He doesn't spin it but it just takes forever to come down." I was not going to put this in the report but in the interests of accurate journalistic representation (and not because I want to take the piss out of Emil - I'm not that brave) I have done. Anyway, if you can restrict club players to 2.3 an over on a good track in a 35 overs a side game, you must be doing something right.
Further tight spells from KK and a flurry of late wickets from Abbas, Mudassar and Javed meant Burgh only posted 141 which was gettable on paper however, with both the previous week's batting heroes missing, we felt our chances were only around 50 % at tea.
Two early wickets for the home side removed our experimental opening partnership - Zahid and Naeem and a bright start from Riaz was cut off in its prime by a rare leg before decision from Umpire Lefebve (I don't give too many but this was a yorker on leg and middle...sorry. It was given very reluctantly as I really enjoy Riaz's batting.) 35 for 3 and we were in a spot of bother. Fortunately, Darwin played a fine hand on seasonal debut with a hard-hitting 27. Javed was still there and - usually an explosive hitter - played very sensibly (rotating the strike and progressing from 20 to 40 with 2 twos and 16 singles. When Darwin departed on 88 for 4 there was still a lot of work to do but Zia took command - the highlight was a brilliant hook shot - and quickly knocked off 38 of the 53 runs we needed to win.
A great way to secure only our second victory over Burgh in about 7 games. A win that looked in doubt for while but was eventually secured with almost 10 overs to spare.
Burgh Heath 141 for 5 (Masini 49, Matthew 40) from 35 overs
Nomads bowling;
Zia 7-0-28-1
Emil 7-0-16-0
Abbas 7-0-32-1
KK 7-0-25-0
Mudassar 4-0-31-1
Javed 3-0-7-2
Clapham Nomads 143 for 4 from 25.2 overs
Zahid 3
Naeem 8
Javed 47 not out
Riaz 10
Darwin 27
Zia not out 38
Did not bat: KK, Abbas, Emil(capt), John (wkt), Mudassar
F.O.W. - 11, 17, 35, 88
Clapham Nomads won by 6 wickets.
Man of the Match - Javed
Fielder of the Day - Mudassar
Although Javed was Man of the Match on the figures, I must mention the brilliant all-round contribution made to this fixture by Zia who not only opened the bowling, saw us home to victory in an unbroken 50 partnership with Javed, but also brought along 3 new players (including the excellent, youthful Mudassar) as we were hit by injuries and withdrawals. He also played one of the best shots seen from a Nomads player; a stunning hook right off his nose against a lively paceman.
Next up is Energy Exiles and it looks as if we might have a strong side on paper - we are going to need it. If any players with test experience (oh go on, we might also consider county players as well) are reading this, then please contact me and you can have my place.
Tuesday, 25 April 2017
Clapham Nomads v Vishwa - 23/4/17
Following the late withdrawal of Surbiton Imperials, Nomads were forunate to find a replacement fixture against Vishwa; a pleasant and sporting bunch of guys, for our home game at Turney Road, Dulwich.
After wnning the toss and deliberating at length, Skipper Todorow chose to bat but the wisdom of this soon looked in doubt as debutant and formed Burgh Heath player Asim was brilliantly caught in the gully in the 3rd over - 1 for 1.
Javed helped to turn the tide with a pinch-hitting 23 before a stunning 3rd wicket partnership of 127 between Mahesh Vyas (64) and Hassan Khan (117 not out) put Nomads in command. Riaz and Zia kept up the pace and we had a shot at topping 300 at one stage but finished on 297 for 5 - our 3rd highest score.
Another amazing catch - a full-length dive by Mahesh "The Cat" Vyas - came early in Vishwa's reply but a great stand of 80 or so for the 2nd wicket meant that the away side were in the hunt for a while just before tea, needing just over 9 an over but with 9 wickets standing. A well-judged diving catch on the boundary by Asim was vital and, though Vishwa kept up a very decent scoring rate, regular wickets took the edge off their momentum as the required rate moved up into the teens. We eventually wrapped it up in the twilight, dismissing them for 211 in the penultimate over for a fine start to the season.
Man of the Match was Hassan for a superlative century; very classy batting without giving a chance that I can remember. The pick of the bowlers were probably KK and Asim. Fielder of the day was Mahesh who took two top-drawer catches to add to his 64, which was his best Nomads innings for some time.
UPDATE - It's over 3 weeks since this game now and I've been a bit lazy doing my reports so I'm a bit vague about some of the details. It was a lovely way to start the season and a pleasure to play against a sporting club such as Vishwa who really enjoy their cricket and play it in the right way.
For the first time, Nomads were no longer a park team and booked a "proper" club ground and have the hole in our bank balance to show for it. We also had our own tea lady who did a good job - thanks very much, Jackie.
Several Nomads players had been practising hard pre-season and the upshot was a devastating batting performance on a track that was great for the batters but gave the bowlers a little hope too. Mahesh continued his fine form from the end of last season. As ever, he was harsh on anything loose around leg stump but, when he played a Mark Bradshaw -style square cut to the point boundary in his 20s, I knew he was in the zone.
Hassan just looked on top form from the word go and took control from the off. He did not give a chance that I can remember. There was controlled hitting all around the wicket and I would have to pick out his cuts just behind point as the most memorable shots.
Vishwa had some useful bowlers. I would have to pick out the pacy opener Path, and Samir, also the club fixtures secretary - the classic mystery spinner who had an action that made him difficult to read.
Once the main stand between Mahesh and Hassan had been broken, there was an enjoyable 24 from Riaz - inevitably including 2 large sixes - and fine batting from KK and, especially, Zia towards the end. Zia actually outscored Hassan with 41 out of a partnership of 72 for the 5th wicket.
As I said earlier, Vishwa's faint hopes were hit by a spectacular slip catch from Mahesh early on but they remained just about in the hunt with a stand of 80 or so and plenty of batting to come. However, the pressure of keeping up the rate, and some tight stuff from all the Nomads bowlers - with excellent fielding especially from Mahesh and Asim - saw Nomads move into the comfort zone.
With 14 an over required off the last 7, Nick Lefebve tore his hamstring in "sprinting" after a ball heading for the Long Leg boundary. He remained on the pitch, hobbling, at slip. Excellent commitment or a stupid sod? I will leave you to judge, but I am out of action until July (not that that will damage the overall level of athleticism of the team too much.)
There was an amusing postscript to this as the senior players in the club gathered for their post-match drink in Balham and were joined by former Nomads legends the Chance brothers. As Nick left the pub, leaning heavily to one side and dragging his left foot along the ground, he was overtaken by John and Emil, both limping heavily. "Jesus Christ," exclaimed the still fairly athletic 53 or 54 year old Joe Chance, "It's a zombie apocalypse."
Anyway, an excellent start to the season.
Clapham Nomads 297 for 5 from 35 overs
Asim 1
Mahesh 64
Javed 23
Hassan 117 not out
Riaz 24
Zia 41
KK 6 not out
Did not bat; Abbas, Nick, Emil (capt), John (Wkt)
F.O.W. - 1, 37, 164, 207, 279
Vishwa 211 in 33.5 overs.
Nomads bowling;
Zia 6-0-42-0
Emil 7-1-46-1
Abbas 7-0-51-2
KK 5-1-33-1
Asim 4-0-20-3
Riaz 3.5-0-25-1
Hassan 1-0-1-1
Clapham Nomads won by 86 runs.
Man of the Match - Hassan
Fielder of the Day - Mahesh
After wnning the toss and deliberating at length, Skipper Todorow chose to bat but the wisdom of this soon looked in doubt as debutant and formed Burgh Heath player Asim was brilliantly caught in the gully in the 3rd over - 1 for 1.
Javed helped to turn the tide with a pinch-hitting 23 before a stunning 3rd wicket partnership of 127 between Mahesh Vyas (64) and Hassan Khan (117 not out) put Nomads in command. Riaz and Zia kept up the pace and we had a shot at topping 300 at one stage but finished on 297 for 5 - our 3rd highest score.
Another amazing catch - a full-length dive by Mahesh "The Cat" Vyas - came early in Vishwa's reply but a great stand of 80 or so for the 2nd wicket meant that the away side were in the hunt for a while just before tea, needing just over 9 an over but with 9 wickets standing. A well-judged diving catch on the boundary by Asim was vital and, though Vishwa kept up a very decent scoring rate, regular wickets took the edge off their momentum as the required rate moved up into the teens. We eventually wrapped it up in the twilight, dismissing them for 211 in the penultimate over for a fine start to the season.
Man of the Match was Hassan for a superlative century; very classy batting without giving a chance that I can remember. The pick of the bowlers were probably KK and Asim. Fielder of the day was Mahesh who took two top-drawer catches to add to his 64, which was his best Nomads innings for some time.
UPDATE - It's over 3 weeks since this game now and I've been a bit lazy doing my reports so I'm a bit vague about some of the details. It was a lovely way to start the season and a pleasure to play against a sporting club such as Vishwa who really enjoy their cricket and play it in the right way.
For the first time, Nomads were no longer a park team and booked a "proper" club ground and have the hole in our bank balance to show for it. We also had our own tea lady who did a good job - thanks very much, Jackie.
Several Nomads players had been practising hard pre-season and the upshot was a devastating batting performance on a track that was great for the batters but gave the bowlers a little hope too. Mahesh continued his fine form from the end of last season. As ever, he was harsh on anything loose around leg stump but, when he played a Mark Bradshaw -style square cut to the point boundary in his 20s, I knew he was in the zone.
Hassan just looked on top form from the word go and took control from the off. He did not give a chance that I can remember. There was controlled hitting all around the wicket and I would have to pick out his cuts just behind point as the most memorable shots.
Vishwa had some useful bowlers. I would have to pick out the pacy opener Path, and Samir, also the club fixtures secretary - the classic mystery spinner who had an action that made him difficult to read.
Once the main stand between Mahesh and Hassan had been broken, there was an enjoyable 24 from Riaz - inevitably including 2 large sixes - and fine batting from KK and, especially, Zia towards the end. Zia actually outscored Hassan with 41 out of a partnership of 72 for the 5th wicket.
As I said earlier, Vishwa's faint hopes were hit by a spectacular slip catch from Mahesh early on but they remained just about in the hunt with a stand of 80 or so and plenty of batting to come. However, the pressure of keeping up the rate, and some tight stuff from all the Nomads bowlers - with excellent fielding especially from Mahesh and Asim - saw Nomads move into the comfort zone.
With 14 an over required off the last 7, Nick Lefebve tore his hamstring in "sprinting" after a ball heading for the Long Leg boundary. He remained on the pitch, hobbling, at slip. Excellent commitment or a stupid sod? I will leave you to judge, but I am out of action until July (not that that will damage the overall level of athleticism of the team too much.)
There was an amusing postscript to this as the senior players in the club gathered for their post-match drink in Balham and were joined by former Nomads legends the Chance brothers. As Nick left the pub, leaning heavily to one side and dragging his left foot along the ground, he was overtaken by John and Emil, both limping heavily. "Jesus Christ," exclaimed the still fairly athletic 53 or 54 year old Joe Chance, "It's a zombie apocalypse."
Anyway, an excellent start to the season.
Clapham Nomads 297 for 5 from 35 overs
Asim 1
Mahesh 64
Javed 23
Hassan 117 not out
Riaz 24
Zia 41
KK 6 not out
Did not bat; Abbas, Nick, Emil (capt), John (Wkt)
F.O.W. - 1, 37, 164, 207, 279
Vishwa 211 in 33.5 overs.
Nomads bowling;
Zia 6-0-42-0
Emil 7-1-46-1
Abbas 7-0-51-2
KK 5-1-33-1
Asim 4-0-20-3
Riaz 3.5-0-25-1
Hassan 1-0-1-1
Clapham Nomads won by 86 runs.
Man of the Match - Hassan
Fielder of the Day - Mahesh
Friday, 24 March 2017
Nomads Player of the Year 2016 etc
Clapham Nomads held our Annual Meeting for last season in the Mirch Masala in Tooting last Sunday.
As ever, the food was delicious and surprisingly affordable. Emil's bone was smaller than in previous years (sorry to be personal) but I'm told it was still sumptuous.
There was a good turnout with 10 of our most regular players from 2016 in attendance; Emil, John, Hassan, Abdul, Riaz, Mahesh, Darwin, Abbas, KK and Nick.
The award winners were;
Fielder of the Year - John Crossland (In his victory speech he said "I love you all"....no, I'm joking, of course. He said "I know I took 15 catches but it should have been 20.")
Bowler of the Year - A share between the guile and excellent average of KK, and the raw pace and 25 wickets of Abbas.
Batsman of the Year - Hassan Khan - the best average of any regular batsman - the Bradman of the Royal Mail.
Player of the Year - KK - an outstanding first season; his bowling just got better and better.
The first game of the season will be on 23rd April against Surbiton Imperials.
There are 2 remarkable landmarks which should hopefully be achieved this summer. Hassan needs just just 173 runs (several seasons for me but (?) a couple of innings for Hassan) to become the first Clapham Nomad to score 5,000 runs for the club.
Emil Todorow has now played in 245 consecutive matches for the club, so - weather permitting - he should reach a staggering 250 successive games some time in late May.
Look forward to seeing you all again soon.
Nick
As ever, the food was delicious and surprisingly affordable. Emil's bone was smaller than in previous years (sorry to be personal) but I'm told it was still sumptuous.
There was a good turnout with 10 of our most regular players from 2016 in attendance; Emil, John, Hassan, Abdul, Riaz, Mahesh, Darwin, Abbas, KK and Nick.
The award winners were;
Fielder of the Year - John Crossland (In his victory speech he said "I love you all"....no, I'm joking, of course. He said "I know I took 15 catches but it should have been 20.")
Bowler of the Year - A share between the guile and excellent average of KK, and the raw pace and 25 wickets of Abbas.
Batsman of the Year - Hassan Khan - the best average of any regular batsman - the Bradman of the Royal Mail.
Player of the Year - KK - an outstanding first season; his bowling just got better and better.
The first game of the season will be on 23rd April against Surbiton Imperials.
There are 2 remarkable landmarks which should hopefully be achieved this summer. Hassan needs just just 173 runs (several seasons for me but (?) a couple of innings for Hassan) to become the first Clapham Nomad to score 5,000 runs for the club.
Emil Todorow has now played in 245 consecutive matches for the club, so - weather permitting - he should reach a staggering 250 successive games some time in late May.
Look forward to seeing you all again soon.
Nick
Friday, 24 February 2017
Nomads Annual Meeting
To all Nomads past and present.
Just to remind you that Clapham Nomads are still going strong and will be having their Annual Meeting for 2016 (just 11 weeks late) at the Mirch Masala in Upper Tooting Road, SW17 in March. The provisional date is Sunday March 19th at 7.30 pm. All are extremely welcome. In case you have never been, the food is really good there (it was once rated the 37th-best restaurant in Great Britain - well, its Norbury Branch was.)
Hope to see you all soon.
Nick
Just to remind you that Clapham Nomads are still going strong and will be having their Annual Meeting for 2016 (just 11 weeks late) at the Mirch Masala in Upper Tooting Road, SW17 in March. The provisional date is Sunday March 19th at 7.30 pm. All are extremely welcome. In case you have never been, the food is really good there (it was once rated the 37th-best restaurant in Great Britain - well, its Norbury Branch was.)
Hope to see you all soon.
Nick
Sunday, 5 February 2017
The John Crossland Wicketkeepers XI
In honour of our veteran wicketkeeper John Crossland's outstanding season last year, I have selected a Fantasy Wicketkeepers' XI made up of Nomads players past and present, together with a sprinkling of international stars;
Can you imagine the intensity of the on-field verbals with 11 keepers on the pitch, and try to picture the scene in the dressing room as they limbered up, performed imaginary stumpings, made scathing comments about outfielders' throwing ability and just generally behaved as wicketkeepers do? It would actually be quite scary and that is why I have appointed 2 Team Managers to keep order; Emil Todorow, of course, plus a specialist Wicketkeeper/Manager to be revealed later.
Here is the batting order.
1) - Alec Stewart (Surrey and England) - Much too dapper and technically correct - and not eccentric enough - for a Nomads line-up really, but would almost certainly be the best batsman in the side. Also, like the Nomads, he is believed to have played a lot of cricket in Wimbledon (but probably not at Dundonald Road Rec.)
2) - Mahesh Vyas (Croydon Spinners, Caribbean Mix and Clapham Nomads) - A very capable glovesman and stumping specialist who has deputised successfully for Crossland on several occasions. He would form one half of a classic opening batting partnership - The orthodoxy of Stewart and the improvisation of Vyas. One hopes there would not be too many run-out incidents.
3) - Paul Downton ( Middlesex and England) - Arguably the best defensive batsman in the side and a fine keeper who unfortunately suffered a freak injury worthy of Nomads' own Andrew West when a bail became lodged in his eye. He would be an ideal batting foil for Vyas if Stewart was out early.
4) - Farokh Engineer (Lancashire and India) - A dashing and charismatic performer who opened the batting for Lancashire in Sunday cricket and whose natural air of authority could be a calming influence in this dressing room.
5) - Graeme Douglas (Open University, Battersea Ironsides and Clapham Nomads) - Probably the least proficient keeper in the side but a capable Sunday Cricket batsman. Also, how many of the others in this line-up can boast a string of Top 20 hits? (Kursaal Flyers, Eddie and the Hot Rods.) Would be more than capable of participating in the banter which would quite possibly be a feature of this team - he once described an Open University Line-Up, including several Hunters, as being "a bunch of Mamas and Papas."
6) - Adam Gilchrist (Australia) - An automatic selection who was fantastic to watch but who broke English hearts probably more often than any other player. If this team took on, say, Energy Exiles, it would be great to watch him breaking their hearts if he came in at about 25 for 4 and slog-swept Simon Gundry onto the tram tracks by Nursery Road. Was known for his sporting nature and for "walking." Given Nomads umpires' reputation, he might even find himself walking when LBW appeals were rejected.
7) - Alan Knott (Kent and England) - Like many Nomads, this legend of the 70s was known to be a touch eccentric. Unlike many Nomads, he was a noted fitness fanatic. Stunningly acrobatic and agile, he was a "Keepers' Keeper." His discussions about technique with Crossland would be fascinating to listen to. A very successful late-middle-order batsman.
8) - Jack Russell (Gloucestershire and England) - Another automatic selection. The man from Stroud was pure entertainment and his famously patched-up and disintegrating gloves and hat would not be out of place in Emil Todorow's Nomads Kit Bag.
9) - Wasim Bari (Pakistan) - Rated by many as Pakistan's finest glovesman. He had to cope with facing a bowling line-up containing such diverse styles and talents as Imran Khan and Abdul Qadir. Like Crossland, he famously detested allowing the ball to pass him and, in 1978, he went through a whole 3-match Test series against England without conceding a bye.
10) John Crossland (Open University and Clapham Nomads) - (Captain) - A Clapham Nomads legend who has just had his finest season behind the sticks at the age of ?????. An underused but capable batsman who has scored a 50 for the Nomads and, when reminded that he once spanked Kingston Lefthanders all over the park, replied; "Yes, and I made some runs against them as well." Can occasionally be a harsh critic and it would be entertaining if, in this line-up, he berated Gilchrist for slow scoring e.g. "Come on Adam, we're falling behind the rate and there's only really Knott, Russell and Bari to come.
11) - Bob Taylor (Derbyshire and England) - Would be regarded by many as the most technically proficient wicketkeeper in this side but could possibly not hold his own with the other 10 as a batsman. Would be likely to bat in a 10th wicket partnership with Crossland but I'm sure the Nomads man would be able to shield Taylor from the strike.
Co-Managers;
Emil Todorow (Open University and Clapham Nomads) - It would take a tough manager to control this XI so Todorow would fit the bill. Also, given that Mahesh Vyas is the only recognised front-line bowler in the side. Todorow might be required to sub-field and could be allowed to sneak in a few overs of medium pace if the opposition were sporting.
Rod Marsh (Australia) - Ordinarily, his competitive streak and willingness to engage the opposition in on-pitch conversation would be sorely missed from any playing line-up. However, in this side, competitiveness and verbal dexterity would not be in short supply. He would still be useful in a coaching role, breaking up dressing room fights and possibly organising the tea. 3 Tinnies each for the lads at half-time?
12th Man;
Karl Krikken (Derbyshire) - Emil's favourite wicketkeeper - need I say more?
So that is the line-up, but one burning question remains. Who would actually keep wicket? I think the best solution would be for each man to take 3 overs of the usual Clapham Nomads 35. The last 2 overs could then be allotted to the keeper who had impressed most. This could be decided by calm and democratic discussion within the side.........or maybe not (we are talking about 11 wicketkeepers here.)
Can you imagine the intensity of the on-field verbals with 11 keepers on the pitch, and try to picture the scene in the dressing room as they limbered up, performed imaginary stumpings, made scathing comments about outfielders' throwing ability and just generally behaved as wicketkeepers do? It would actually be quite scary and that is why I have appointed 2 Team Managers to keep order; Emil Todorow, of course, plus a specialist Wicketkeeper/Manager to be revealed later.
Here is the batting order.
1) - Alec Stewart (Surrey and England) - Much too dapper and technically correct - and not eccentric enough - for a Nomads line-up really, but would almost certainly be the best batsman in the side. Also, like the Nomads, he is believed to have played a lot of cricket in Wimbledon (but probably not at Dundonald Road Rec.)
2) - Mahesh Vyas (Croydon Spinners, Caribbean Mix and Clapham Nomads) - A very capable glovesman and stumping specialist who has deputised successfully for Crossland on several occasions. He would form one half of a classic opening batting partnership - The orthodoxy of Stewart and the improvisation of Vyas. One hopes there would not be too many run-out incidents.
3) - Paul Downton ( Middlesex and England) - Arguably the best defensive batsman in the side and a fine keeper who unfortunately suffered a freak injury worthy of Nomads' own Andrew West when a bail became lodged in his eye. He would be an ideal batting foil for Vyas if Stewart was out early.
4) - Farokh Engineer (Lancashire and India) - A dashing and charismatic performer who opened the batting for Lancashire in Sunday cricket and whose natural air of authority could be a calming influence in this dressing room.
5) - Graeme Douglas (Open University, Battersea Ironsides and Clapham Nomads) - Probably the least proficient keeper in the side but a capable Sunday Cricket batsman. Also, how many of the others in this line-up can boast a string of Top 20 hits? (Kursaal Flyers, Eddie and the Hot Rods.) Would be more than capable of participating in the banter which would quite possibly be a feature of this team - he once described an Open University Line-Up, including several Hunters, as being "a bunch of Mamas and Papas."
6) - Adam Gilchrist (Australia) - An automatic selection who was fantastic to watch but who broke English hearts probably more often than any other player. If this team took on, say, Energy Exiles, it would be great to watch him breaking their hearts if he came in at about 25 for 4 and slog-swept Simon Gundry onto the tram tracks by Nursery Road. Was known for his sporting nature and for "walking." Given Nomads umpires' reputation, he might even find himself walking when LBW appeals were rejected.
7) - Alan Knott (Kent and England) - Like many Nomads, this legend of the 70s was known to be a touch eccentric. Unlike many Nomads, he was a noted fitness fanatic. Stunningly acrobatic and agile, he was a "Keepers' Keeper." His discussions about technique with Crossland would be fascinating to listen to. A very successful late-middle-order batsman.
8) - Jack Russell (Gloucestershire and England) - Another automatic selection. The man from Stroud was pure entertainment and his famously patched-up and disintegrating gloves and hat would not be out of place in Emil Todorow's Nomads Kit Bag.
9) - Wasim Bari (Pakistan) - Rated by many as Pakistan's finest glovesman. He had to cope with facing a bowling line-up containing such diverse styles and talents as Imran Khan and Abdul Qadir. Like Crossland, he famously detested allowing the ball to pass him and, in 1978, he went through a whole 3-match Test series against England without conceding a bye.
10) John Crossland (Open University and Clapham Nomads) - (Captain) - A Clapham Nomads legend who has just had his finest season behind the sticks at the age of ?????. An underused but capable batsman who has scored a 50 for the Nomads and, when reminded that he once spanked Kingston Lefthanders all over the park, replied; "Yes, and I made some runs against them as well." Can occasionally be a harsh critic and it would be entertaining if, in this line-up, he berated Gilchrist for slow scoring e.g. "Come on Adam, we're falling behind the rate and there's only really Knott, Russell and Bari to come.
11) - Bob Taylor (Derbyshire and England) - Would be regarded by many as the most technically proficient wicketkeeper in this side but could possibly not hold his own with the other 10 as a batsman. Would be likely to bat in a 10th wicket partnership with Crossland but I'm sure the Nomads man would be able to shield Taylor from the strike.
Co-Managers;
Emil Todorow (Open University and Clapham Nomads) - It would take a tough manager to control this XI so Todorow would fit the bill. Also, given that Mahesh Vyas is the only recognised front-line bowler in the side. Todorow might be required to sub-field and could be allowed to sneak in a few overs of medium pace if the opposition were sporting.
Rod Marsh (Australia) - Ordinarily, his competitive streak and willingness to engage the opposition in on-pitch conversation would be sorely missed from any playing line-up. However, in this side, competitiveness and verbal dexterity would not be in short supply. He would still be useful in a coaching role, breaking up dressing room fights and possibly organising the tea. 3 Tinnies each for the lads at half-time?
12th Man;
Karl Krikken (Derbyshire) - Emil's favourite wicketkeeper - need I say more?
So that is the line-up, but one burning question remains. Who would actually keep wicket? I think the best solution would be for each man to take 3 overs of the usual Clapham Nomads 35. The last 2 overs could then be allotted to the keeper who had impressed most. This could be decided by calm and democratic discussion within the side.........or maybe not (we are talking about 11 wicketkeepers here.)
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