Friday 1 July 2011

Barnes Occasionals v Clapham Nomads - 26/6/11

The long journey to Riverside Drive, Ham, was enlivened by the skilful driving of Mr Emil Todorow as he weaved his way though the 1,000s of cyclists, mostly clad in pink T-shirts, who were clogging up the narrow lanes near the ground. We were told by John Crossland when we arrived that he had been on this Charity Bike Ride himself. I'm not sure if he was in pink but, if he was, I'm sure it was a good look. Of course; athlete that he is, he had finished the course several hours previously and arrived at the ground with Andrew West - by boat.
This is now Occasionals' regular ground and, credit either to them or to Richmond Council's Contractors, the pitch played well and there was a nice tea hut. It was a big improvement on last year (that's starting from a low base, though.)
Nomads were inserted by a Barnes side missing 2 of their top batsmen; Adam Hogg and Roger Price. Ollie Hogg and the young Ireland opened the bowling and 3 wickets fell quite rapidly; Mahesh Vyas adjudged LBW, Jim Joyce ending up at the same end as Prasanth Pattiyil for a bizarre run out and then, ominously, Hogg clipping the top of Hassan Khan's bails to leave Nomads in a quandary at 34 for 3. No. 5 Sumith Prasanna led a counter-attack with a hard-hitting knock including 2 sixes before Prasanth fell for a decent 29, continuing his consistent run of form.
Nick Lefebve came out at 67 for 4 but Sumith fell almost straight away. Occasionals had replaced Hogg with a bowler making his debut. He bowled at considerable pace and found what few snakes there were in the pitch, making the ball rear up regularly. Nomads were in some trouble but Barnes perhaps missed a trick by setting a remarkable 8-1 off-side field to Lefebve, who plays exclusively on the leg side. The bowler did bowl to his field but the batsman was able to watch the ball sail past his off stump as the bowler tired. The partnership was given much-needed impetus by No. 7 Zia who struck a splendid 40 with resounding blows straight and over long-on. He played some very nice late cuts as well. Sadly the stand ended 2 short of the half-century mark with Zia chipping a catch back to the bowler - perhaps looking for a single which wasn't really needed as plenty of time remained.
Lefebve didn't last too long after this and nor did Darwin but this was of enormous benefit to spectators as it brought together, on 124 for 8, the legendary partnership of Emil Todorow and John Crossland who don't bat together too often these days but who have a most unconventional way of expressing their respect and admiration for each other as cricketers and men. Basically, they pretty much re-defined the art of running beween the wickets, as such tired old chestnuts as "Yes", "No" and "Wait" were replaced by "Come on, run for Christ's sake!", "What are you doing? Get back!" and "It's my call. Do as I say!" All those present agreed that it would be fun if they opened together, perhaps against a weak bowling side. Even if our innings closed on 30 for 0, and we lost by 9 wickets, the entertainment they would provide would make the £6 match fee extremely good value. In fairness, they did put on 16 valuable runs, mostly against an exceptionally slow loop bowler, with contrasting styles; John charging fully 8 yards out of his crease and flicking to leg, and Emil rooted to the spot and aiming massive hoiks though square leg - and either nodding in satisfaction or shaking his locks in frustration at the result.
Unbelievably, that was almost improved on as last man Andrew West joined Todorow in the middle. Three times West set off for a quick single, only to be ordered back. Our No. 11, who turns about as quickly as the Titanic, just made it back, panting, each time. He did crack 2 resounding fours as well, using his special grip with the hands the wrong way round. Mind you, seeing that his strike rate of 8 runs from 3 balls was the fastest of our innings, who's to say his grip is not correct? - and everyone else's hands are the wrong way round.
Actually, West can bat a bit. On his debut in 1994 he made 26 on a terrible pitch against some quick bowling. Recovering from an early blow to his unprotected testicles, he carted Stratford's indignant quicks all over Wandsworth Park. We thought we had unearthed a batting gem. We were half-right. He certainly is a gem but 26 remains his highest score for the club.
Barnes's reply was always going to be rather like Newsnight Review following an episode of Keystone Cops and excellent, tight, bowling from Hassan Khan ensured an air of tranquility. The early order all looked as though they could play a bit and Darwin had to swoop low and fast to take a quite brilliant catch off Todorow's bowling. This was a time match and Todorow could concentrate on his 4 main bowlers. He took himself off perhaps an over too early when it was noticed that Ireland seemed to back away from a ball from Hassan, who was bowling as quick as he has this season. Zia came on in an effort to capitalise on this perceived weakness but Ireland proved an excellent player with the top score of Barnes's reply. He even hit Andrew West for three successive 4s, though the Big Man recovered to bowl a decent, accurate spell. He was taken off after 6 overs but begged for another over. This was declined by Emil, perhaps wisely as we saw later.
With 20 overs to go, the asking rate was only just above 5 an over, but regular wickets kept Nomads reasonably safe from defeat. Zia bowled quickly and was hard to score off, but bowled perhaps too full a length to really run through the opposition. Jim Mundy and Mark Lichfield came together at 6 down with around 7 overs to go and, both very seasoned players, saw Occasionals through to the last over with little difficulty. By this stage, Andrew West was lying prone at long-off, claiming to be suffering from heat exhaustion. It was agreed that, should the ball touch him, 5 penalty runs would be recorded. This seems a rather paltry haul when you consider that a mere batting helmet, which covers rather less ground than West, also incurs a 5-run penalty.
With 4 balls to go, Hassan bowled Lichfield and then followed up with another wicket the next ball to provide just a flicker. This was quickly extinguished by No. 10 Keith Seed, a very experienced defensive player who negotiated the final 2 deliveries with ease to earn Barnes a draw.
This was an unexpectedly enjoyable match, played in great spirit, with plenty of entertainment and talking points. It has been suggested that similar antics could see Nomads featured on YouTube.
Fielder of the Day was definitely Darwin for the Catch of the Season so far, although John Crossland overcame fatigue to take a smart stumping off Jim Joyce's bowling. Since this game was as much Edinburgh Fringe as Lord's, I am tempted to give Man of the Match to Todorow, West or Crossland. Hassan also bowled very well but, in a game where the ball was on top, Zia gets the nod for producing by far the best innings.

Clapham Nomads 153 all out

Vyas 8
Pattiyil 29
Joyce 0
H. Khan 8
Prasanna 22
Lefebve 8
Zia 40
Darwin 0
Todorow 9
Crossland 2
West 8 not out

F.O.W. - 12, 12, 32, 67, 71, 119, 124, 124, 140, 153

Barnes Occasionals 104 for 8 from 35 overs

H. Khan 10-5-16-3
Todorow 6-0-18-2
Zia 11-2-26-1
West 6-0-29-1
Joyce 1-0-6-1
Darwin 1-0-4-0

Match Drawn

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